One day to go and we are expecting "the storm of the winter". I called the plastics office to ensure they had a game plan and sure enough they told me that my surgery would go ahead and not be cancelled. As a precaution, my parents have booked us into the hotel across the street from the hospital. That way all we have to do is make it 500 feet through the snow. Mind you at 100 km/hr winds that might be challenging in itself to walk anywhere, but I have determination.
This morning I actually took a picture of my breast. It is the last "solo" shot for 2014 and if for some crazy reason my surgery doesn't happen I will be heartbroken. Waiting two years for something is a long time that cannot come fast enough. Did I mention the nurses union is threatening striking as well?
I have had lots of people ask if I am nervous or excited and my word is more apprehensive. I am confident in the team of doctors and nurses who will be taking care of me but after the surgery will be the unknown. What will my breasts look like, will I have drains, how much pain will I be in and how long will recovery take. It is a big void of unknown.
What I do know is how much I am loved. Today I have had a flood of well wishes, emails, texts and phone calls. People are excited for me and are sending me thoughts of love. This is the end of my cancer journey and I am happy to be sharing it with those I love and surrounded by those who love me. I am one lucky girl and I'm in love with my life and look forward to my next journey. Whatever that may be.
Love you all
Jenn
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Friday, March 14, 2014
So Close
My surgery date is within sight and I am filled with mixed emotions. Excited to finally put this chapter behind me and nervous about what to expect from the operation. What will the girls look like afterwards and how much pain will I really be in.
I wandered off to my appointment. Well that's a little bit of a lie. It was more like Mario Andretti driving, as my appointment was at 7am and at 7am I was still 5 minutes away from the hospital, not including parking. I called ahead to let them know I was running late and as I run up to the desk to check in I realized I had to sign a piece of paper and then sit down and wait....and wait...and wait...while the receptionists had their coffee break and talked about some personal going ons before waddling their way over to the sign in sheet and then call me.
I handed over my health card for check in and we went through what my morning would look like. Go downstairs to get blood work. See receptionist 1 NOT 2. Then come back up here and wait, then you will see a nurse, anaesthesiologist and get an EKG. Ok was not expecting blood work or an EKG but whatever.
Off I went to the blood collection room to Receptionist 1...who told me to drop my paper and have a seat. So I dropped my paper but apparently I had to go behind a 4' wide wall and sit in those three assigned seats. I came prepared and pulled out my book. I no sooner got through 2 pages and was called in. I explained that she should draw the blood from my left hand not right. Then she tried to find a vein. I explained as she put on the tourniquet that it is easier to draw from my hand, but she was determined to find one in the crook of my arm. She even put on two bands and then gave up and went for my hand...it took me alot not to smirk (I must be growing as a human being). The way she put it in hurt as she had to flick it up to get the blood to flow but I didn't care, just get it done!
Before I knew it I was out of there and back up to wait. Two more pages down and the nurse called me in. We went over my chart and allergies. Are you allergic to latex she asks? No I have issues with the adhesive, paper tape is fine. Ok, she said and made note of it. We went over somethings, like how to care for the dressing and what to bring for the hospital but she couldn't answer a lot of the questions I had and basically would find that out after the surgery. What questions?
1. How many drains will I have
2. Will they be out before I leave the hospital
3. Can you mark that I want my nubbin' gone
4. What prescription will the give me for pain
etc...
The only thing she could inform me is that I will be in pain...A LOT of it. I was prepared for the pain, but didn't need it reiterated.
Out I went to a smaller room and before I pulled out my book I was called in for my EKG. Wrong order but go with the flow. We chatted a bit and then I laid down and she started hooking me up to a variety of wires and even one on my foot. She looks at me and says, you're healthy. Yup!
Get dressed and back out to the waiting room. Pull out my book, finish the chapter and then barely got through the next page and was called by anaesthesiologist, well their resident anyways. Who went through my chart
A: You're allergic to latex?
Me: No, I have sensitivity to the adhesive.
A: What does it do?
Me: Causes blisters over my skin
A: Oh that's bad...
Me: yup!
A: Do you snore?
Me: (pause) Doesn't everyone?
A: Laughs...probably
Me: How would I know, I'm sleeping. (I'm a riot some days)
A: Laughs...good point
A: Do you have sleep apnea
Me: (pause) Let's just go with no
A: Has anyone noticed you stop breathing
Me: Only when they put a pillow over my face....too far?
A: Shakes his head
A: Do you have any caps or crowns.
Me: (I had a line for this but decided to forgo it) No caps and no crowns
A: Open your mouth
Me: What you don't believe me?
A: No I want to see if any of your teeth have spikes to them as the metal depressor can chip teeth
Me: WHAT?
A: I've never seen it happen but I have to forewarn people
A: Do you have problems with drugs
Me: Nope give them to me....drug me up...I'm no hero
A: Ok Ok I will see you on the 26th
Me: Yup Later
I am sure I am the talk of the lunch room after that one....and after 3 hours spent there they tell me I am healthy and ready to go. Really, I could have told you that in about 5 seconds and saved myself the time. Only 1.5 weeks to go:)
I wandered off to my appointment. Well that's a little bit of a lie. It was more like Mario Andretti driving, as my appointment was at 7am and at 7am I was still 5 minutes away from the hospital, not including parking. I called ahead to let them know I was running late and as I run up to the desk to check in I realized I had to sign a piece of paper and then sit down and wait....and wait...and wait...while the receptionists had their coffee break and talked about some personal going ons before waddling their way over to the sign in sheet and then call me.
I handed over my health card for check in and we went through what my morning would look like. Go downstairs to get blood work. See receptionist 1 NOT 2. Then come back up here and wait, then you will see a nurse, anaesthesiologist and get an EKG. Ok was not expecting blood work or an EKG but whatever.
Off I went to the blood collection room to Receptionist 1...who told me to drop my paper and have a seat. So I dropped my paper but apparently I had to go behind a 4' wide wall and sit in those three assigned seats. I came prepared and pulled out my book. I no sooner got through 2 pages and was called in. I explained that she should draw the blood from my left hand not right. Then she tried to find a vein. I explained as she put on the tourniquet that it is easier to draw from my hand, but she was determined to find one in the crook of my arm. She even put on two bands and then gave up and went for my hand...it took me alot not to smirk (I must be growing as a human being). The way she put it in hurt as she had to flick it up to get the blood to flow but I didn't care, just get it done!
Before I knew it I was out of there and back up to wait. Two more pages down and the nurse called me in. We went over my chart and allergies. Are you allergic to latex she asks? No I have issues with the adhesive, paper tape is fine. Ok, she said and made note of it. We went over somethings, like how to care for the dressing and what to bring for the hospital but she couldn't answer a lot of the questions I had and basically would find that out after the surgery. What questions?
1. How many drains will I have
2. Will they be out before I leave the hospital
3. Can you mark that I want my nubbin' gone
4. What prescription will the give me for pain
etc...
The only thing she could inform me is that I will be in pain...A LOT of it. I was prepared for the pain, but didn't need it reiterated.
Out I went to a smaller room and before I pulled out my book I was called in for my EKG. Wrong order but go with the flow. We chatted a bit and then I laid down and she started hooking me up to a variety of wires and even one on my foot. She looks at me and says, you're healthy. Yup!
Get dressed and back out to the waiting room. Pull out my book, finish the chapter and then barely got through the next page and was called by anaesthesiologist, well their resident anyways. Who went through my chart
A: You're allergic to latex?
Me: No, I have sensitivity to the adhesive.
A: What does it do?
Me: Causes blisters over my skin
A: Oh that's bad...
Me: yup!
A: Do you snore?
Me: (pause) Doesn't everyone?
A: Laughs...probably
Me: How would I know, I'm sleeping. (I'm a riot some days)
A: Laughs...good point
A: Do you have sleep apnea
Me: (pause) Let's just go with no
A: Has anyone noticed you stop breathing
Me: Only when they put a pillow over my face....too far?
A: Shakes his head
A: Do you have any caps or crowns.
Me: (I had a line for this but decided to forgo it) No caps and no crowns
A: Open your mouth
Me: What you don't believe me?
A: No I want to see if any of your teeth have spikes to them as the metal depressor can chip teeth
Me: WHAT?
A: I've never seen it happen but I have to forewarn people
A: Do you have problems with drugs
Me: Nope give them to me....drug me up...I'm no hero
A: Ok Ok I will see you on the 26th
Me: Yup Later
I am sure I am the talk of the lunch room after that one....and after 3 hours spent there they tell me I am healthy and ready to go. Really, I could have told you that in about 5 seconds and saved myself the time. Only 1.5 weeks to go:)
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Beware of the Elephant
Some days I wake up perky as can be. Ready to take on the world to the point where someone needs to hit me with a bat. Then there are those other days. Where opening your eyes seems to be as much energy as you want to muster up and then the day just keeps rolling along from there.
My mother calls it "the day when an elephant is on your head". Today I feel like he is on my head and threatening to fart. Trying to be productive at work is not happening (exhibit A, as I sit here writing this) and everyone around me seems to have the winter blahs as well. There is not enough caffeine in the building to make this day move faster.
Today would be a good day to curl up in a blanket on the couch with my book and doze in and out of sleep. I look at the clock and I still have 2.5 hours to go until I can sluggishly make my way to the car, drive home, walk through the door and crawl under my sheets and hope that tomorrow that darn elephant will have found his way back home.
How many more weeks until Spring?
My mother calls it "the day when an elephant is on your head". Today I feel like he is on my head and threatening to fart. Trying to be productive at work is not happening (exhibit A, as I sit here writing this) and everyone around me seems to have the winter blahs as well. There is not enough caffeine in the building to make this day move faster.
Today would be a good day to curl up in a blanket on the couch with my book and doze in and out of sleep. I look at the clock and I still have 2.5 hours to go until I can sluggishly make my way to the car, drive home, walk through the door and crawl under my sheets and hope that tomorrow that darn elephant will have found his way back home.
How many more weeks until Spring?
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Progress
So how has progress been going? Like all progress that is sustainable, it is going at a slow pace. I have changed my eating habits and noticed the first thing is that my food bill has gone up, but on the flip side I feel better. I find that my brain isn't racing at 80km/hr every night and just laying in bed and concentrating on breathing sends me off into a peaceful sleep. I have been doing lots of things with friends and my social calendar actually has most evenings booked..very unlike me. So far I would rate my progress as a strong C+ but I have 23 days to go, so this week is about moving into the B's and bringing on my B game.
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