It is hard to believe that it has been close to a year since my whole ordeal began. In what time it would take to have a baby I found a lump, had surgery, did chemo and radiation, had a vacation and I am now back to work. I guess time does fly even when you are not having fun.
The odd thing is that you need to go back to normal. If I can even remember what normal is. Normal feels like a lifetime ago. Meanwhile, my body has changed in appearance but my attitude has not. Guess that should be put on the wish list for "slightly altered". Going back to a conversation that doesn't involve how I am feeling, looking or when my next appointment is...is...well..odd to say the least.
People still ask how I am doing when they first see me after awhile, but quickly move past. I am not adverse to talking about my cancer experience..obviously..but I am glad there are more <and better> things to talk about and look forward to. Like singing to Glee Karaoke and wondering if the neighbours will call to shut us down, planting and replanting the same poor perennials until I find their "forever home", waking up to a snoring husband, puppy and cat..knowing they are all content even if I can't sleep, laughing like idiots with my family until your belly hurt or someone pees their pants- you know who you are -and still forever trying to find the best molasses ginger cookie.
While I will never forget my experience, and I personally am reminded of my having cancer on a daily basis, I have gone back to days where the C word is is a rarity as opposed to a continuous conversation. I have moved on. My days now consist of daily tasks and chores, summer time fun and lots of laughter. So sorry for you cancer, but you are no longer my child to care for. I am done with you. I am kicking you out the door, and I am looking forward to being an empty nester.
