Docetaxel is my latest drug in the cocktail elixir of round 4. It is the only drip for the next three rounds. I had been prepared for the many side effects of this one but thought I would hold off judgement as I had gone through the first ones without many side effects. Chemo takes place on a Wednesday and then within 24-36 hours after the fact I was to get an injection of Neulasta. It is meant to help increase your immune system but can also cause muscle and joint pain.
So in I go for chemo with my "tree root" vein which they are unable to use. They heat up my hand with a warm blanket and then go searching for another vein source. Nurse K thinks she has one, but doesn't get in...then tries again on the underside of my arm...ok THAT hurts...but does not succeed. She calls over Nurse W <as they only poke you 2x before getting someone else...they are kind like that>. Nurse W searches all over, heats me up again and then goes in...nope...sigh..but the 4th time is a charm and we're off. Sometimes this drug can cause an allergic reaction when then inject it so they sit with you for a bit to ensure everything is all good. And for once I am doing well..no coughing fits, no numbness in fingers and toes all good. I sit quietly observing all around me while my husband is up observing a gentlemen next to us get injected through a port. Sick husband!
After an hour they do the flush and off I go. Well that was nothing! The next morning I wake up a little tired but I am pleased that I am not hitting the 1/2 hour wall like the first three rounds. I am a bit tired but I can push through this one. Then comes the injection, you have the option of having VON come into do this but my husband is a trained professional so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him inject me. I have never used any type of illegal drug in my life and now I am being injected with a $2000 legal drug...kind of seems off..maybe I should have tried some cheaper stuff first..but I am a girl with expensive taste. The needle was like a skin scratch and I felt some fluid move but within a minute you would never have known it was done. <Injected into my side stomach...lots of fat layers to hide the pain> Unlike my arm, which now looked like a pin cushion full of bruises and injection sites. Good job hunny!
I did start taking the ibuprofen and got the prescription done up for the Tylenol 3s but wasn't sure I needed them as this chemo seemed to be going well. Then I woke up the next morning and felt like I was getting the flu. Every muscle in my body felt like it was seizing and it felt like my cough was coming back. Although it was hard to tell as the acid reflux came back with a vengeance during the night and felt like it had burned my throat. Maybe I was getting the flu...I took a shower and massaged my muscles and felt good..I then got out of the shower and all things seized again..oh..ooh..did I mention this was Christmas Eve.
I went out and did some errands which turned out to be faster than anticipated, given the day, and came home. I started feeling really tired and decided to lay down..the only problem with this was that everywhere ached, so after an hour of fighting with positions I got up, took a bath and wrapped some presents. I tried to have a drink but it burnt my throat even more and I just gave up. Damn it ...it was Christmas and I was going to suck it up. We went out a friends house but after an hour of trying to move around to get comfortable and drinking water I thought..maybe we should go home...I walked through the door and went to bed with a hot water bottle. Not that this did any good as I flip flopped the whole night trying to find one place that was comfortable, only to discover there were none to be found. Although my husband did roll over to me and said..I'm a little cold...do you think you could have a hot flash right about now...seriously? Do you want the Christmas tree shoved up your ass? Actually I was a little chilled too but did not wish for the hot flashes.
The next day between the pill popping, a couple of baths massaging the pain, the acid reflux continuation and the hot flashes I was thinking MERRY F%^KING CHRISTMAS! I did manage to move around the house as small step walking seem to help..avoid stairs though..they hurt...got dressed..occasionally found myself staring at walls ...I made it to Christmas dinner. I was lucky as I only had to show up...not that I was much fun...two large hot flashes and tunnel vision later, my taste bud seem to have gone out of whack as well...I was only too happy to get home to bed....I think I got about an hours sleep as I had constant hot flashes that lasted almost 3 hours.
At one point I thought I should take my temperature but decided that would not get an accurate reading..then I thought..should I go to emergency as this is cannot be normal...but did I ...no...I laid there soaking through my pajamas, occasionally getting up to walk around but got cold...and went back to bed. The next two days I laid as low as I could. I was ready to have a full mental breakdown but kept thinking..this has to change at some point right? It can't last for three weeks..can it? I was due to go to a family function but decided this was not my best decision and family understands.
Also on day 5-6 my taste buds flared up to 3x their normal size and everything I ate had no flavour and tasted like sawdust...oh did I mention the insane diarrhea..yup...keeps getting better and better. I am one attractive lady!
On day 6 I decided I should get a massage. Someone rubbing me with heat and oil for an hour was a good thing. I was lucky to get in on such short notice and I took it as a good sign. The moment I got on the table and the large heating pad was put on was the first moment of relief I felt in 6 days. I have not gone for a massage since before my surgery as I wasn't sure how to approach the situation, but being in constant pain for 6 days makes you get over any inhibitions or embarrassment you have. I just flat out told L that I was going to take off my wig, I am in chemo, I only have one breast and please help me. L was great and she wasn't phased at all. She got the extra big heating pad, extra pillows to help prop me up so I laid flat and we laughed and giggled for an hour about our crazy dog stories. <She wins those ones>, Afterwards I got up and for the first time in many days I walked without pain. Why had I waited so long? How long will this last? When is the next available appointment?
And the good news is that I have found McDonald's banana-strawberry fruit smoothies are a relief to my mouth. I don't care if they have sugar in them...being able to "eat" something with flavour overrides this. I will try to make another massage appointment with in the next two days as L is booked, need to buy smoothie supplies...oh and did I mention that a hemroid has decided to flare up and the sides of my mouth have cracked...fun times....I think I should buy a pharamcy as I seem to be there often enough!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Who's the boss of you
Ok so I was all cocky thinking these first rounds were no big deal. Then chemo stuck me in the ass and made me realize whose boss in all of this ...and it is not me. After my third round the vein they had been using for the three rounds decided to become irritated. It all of a sudden got hard and felt like a "tree root". I couldn't straighten my arm or carry any weight in it. I could feel the vein from the point of where the injected me all the way to my armpit and it HURT to touch it. I called the cancer centre and they said this is common and to apply heat on a regular basis, take Tylenol <checking temp first> for 48 to 72 hrs. Well this was a bit difficult to do as we were on the road visiting family, but I did get a hold of a hot water bottle and attempt this as often as possible.
And to top it off the Saturday before my last chemo I did not follow my own chemo rules by keeping up with my snacking every two hours and staying away from grocery stores on the busiest day. I got a bit run down and a cold found its way into my system. So here I am visiting family with a constant running nose, a cough that sounded like I had emphysema and should be taken to emergency. Fun times.
Normally a cold for me takes about 3-5 days to get over but 4 weeks later I still have the occasional cough and the running nose took almost 3 weeks to go away. As for the vein, I can still feel it but at least I can only feel it in my lower arm portion as opposed to from my wrist to my armpit. I still put the occasional hot water bottle on it..but it just goes to show that I am not the boss of me! Who knew? Apparently everyone but me..lol.
And to top it off the Saturday before my last chemo I did not follow my own chemo rules by keeping up with my snacking every two hours and staying away from grocery stores on the busiest day. I got a bit run down and a cold found its way into my system. So here I am visiting family with a constant running nose, a cough that sounded like I had emphysema and should be taken to emergency. Fun times.
Normally a cold for me takes about 3-5 days to get over but 4 weeks later I still have the occasional cough and the running nose took almost 3 weeks to go away. As for the vein, I can still feel it but at least I can only feel it in my lower arm portion as opposed to from my wrist to my armpit. I still put the occasional hot water bottle on it..but it just goes to show that I am not the boss of me! Who knew? Apparently everyone but me..lol.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Look Good Feel Good
There is a program at my local hospital <check yours as they seem to be everywhere> called the Look Good, Feel Good Program. This program teaches skin care and makeup for women <or I suppose some men out there> going through cancer. As one of the wonderful <sarcasm alert> things that the chemo drugs do to you is dry out your skin. At times I can put on what feels like 10 lbs of cream and 2 seconds later it looks like I haven't put any on.
I booked this appointment weeks in advance - it books quickly- as I felt that I should wait until I had a couple rounds of chemo under my belt so I looked more "cancerish". I arrived a couple minutes early but found out quickly that I was the last to arrive...anyone who knows me, knows this is normal for me. I was quickly ushered to a seat and the next thing I know a box of items is being unloaded in front of me. It seems like the never ending box of all new and well known products. All products in the box are based upon skin tone and all alcohol free..good for dry skin.
The class lasted for about 2 hours and we started by all taking off our makeup. Any woman knows that this has to be a very secure environment to bare it all in front of 9 other strangers. I wasn't sure what to expect from this class as I didn't know anyone who had gone to it, but I do recommend it. Did they teach me anything I didn't know...not really but the product I scored was unreal.
In the box:
- 2 skin toners
- 1 box of makeup remover wipes
- 1 face cream
- 1 sunscreen
- 1 under eye toner
- 2 hand/body creams
- 1 foundation press powder
- 2 liquid foundations
- 1 eyeliner
- 1 eye shadow compact <4 colours>
- 1 blush
- 1 mascara
- 1 brow pencil
- 1 lip liner
- 3 lipsticks
- 1 lip gloss
- 1 lip conditioner
I felt like Christmas came early and while in the end I may not use all of the products given I did look good and feel great when I left there. After a while the group loosened up and shared stories but this soon lead to the "great wig debate". Apparently, most women prefer scarves to wigs and our group was all about the wigs. I like taking the path less traveled..the scenery is always better.
It was fun to see a variety of wigs and these too are available to borrow for FREE...my favorite word..free. It was also great to see a group of women from a variety of backgrounds, ethnicity's, stages of cancer and ages all come together and laugh about something none of us have any control over. It made me realize how many of us there are out there and how thankful I am to have the hospital I go to in my area. A big shout out here to all of the volunteers who make this process a little easier.
I booked this appointment weeks in advance - it books quickly- as I felt that I should wait until I had a couple rounds of chemo under my belt so I looked more "cancerish". I arrived a couple minutes early but found out quickly that I was the last to arrive...anyone who knows me, knows this is normal for me. I was quickly ushered to a seat and the next thing I know a box of items is being unloaded in front of me. It seems like the never ending box of all new and well known products. All products in the box are based upon skin tone and all alcohol free..good for dry skin.
The class lasted for about 2 hours and we started by all taking off our makeup. Any woman knows that this has to be a very secure environment to bare it all in front of 9 other strangers. I wasn't sure what to expect from this class as I didn't know anyone who had gone to it, but I do recommend it. Did they teach me anything I didn't know...not really but the product I scored was unreal.
In the box:
- 2 skin toners
- 1 box of makeup remover wipes
- 1 face cream
- 1 sunscreen
- 1 under eye toner
- 2 hand/body creams
- 1 foundation press powder
- 2 liquid foundations
- 1 eyeliner
- 1 eye shadow compact <4 colours>
- 1 blush
- 1 mascara
- 1 brow pencil
- 1 lip liner
- 3 lipsticks
- 1 lip gloss
- 1 lip conditioner
I felt like Christmas came early and while in the end I may not use all of the products given I did look good and feel great when I left there. After a while the group loosened up and shared stories but this soon lead to the "great wig debate". Apparently, most women prefer scarves to wigs and our group was all about the wigs. I like taking the path less traveled..the scenery is always better.
It was fun to see a variety of wigs and these too are available to borrow for FREE...my favorite word..free. It was also great to see a group of women from a variety of backgrounds, ethnicity's, stages of cancer and ages all come together and laugh about something none of us have any control over. It made me realize how many of us there are out there and how thankful I am to have the hospital I go to in my area. A big shout out here to all of the volunteers who make this process a little easier.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
2 for 1
I have been a little neglectful in filling you in on the last two rounds of chemo. I have just had #3 of 6 so I am half way through the chemo portion. Can I get a whoot whoot! Luckily these three rounds have been pretty much the same...lots of pee breaks, constant eating to control the awful acid reflux, chemo fog aka large mental blocks, and limiting activity in the first week to 1/2 hour stints.
In the grand scheme of things and compared to others stories...I blew right through these. I have heard other people talk about not being able to handle the downward elevator...which sucks because chemo is on the 11th floor! Others are having dramatic mood swings, I just call that me! Some have talked about extreme fatigue and severe nausea...thankful I have not had either.....NOW....having said that, my first three rounds were the same drug. The next three rounds will be different. Only one injection of Docetaxil. They mix things up a bit but having me take a steroid the day before and after. Currently I am only taking them for three days after...and so far no weight gain from them but I do swell up a bit..wearing rings or should I say getting them off has become challenging at times.
I am still had the coughing fits during the injection of the epirubicin which is apparently the first in the history of this hospital. Oh well..there is my claim to fame...although this round I drank 1.5L of water during the 1/2 hour it took to inject it and it still wasn't enough and needed more water...crazy really. If you told me I had to drink that much water in a short amount of time I would have said you were nuts but as it turns out it was easy and I didn't even notice that it was gone until I coughed...and coughed...and coughed. Where is that Popsicle for injection 2 when you need it.
Mind you, there are a couple guidelines I do recommend as I was a bit of a bad girl and went out after the 3rd round of chemo instead of going home to rest. The nurses were not worried so why should I be...but if you decide to do this, I do advise:
1. Not wearing so many layers...hot flashes came in plenty of waves..this might have something to do with the tank top, shirt, sweater and down jacket I decided to wear in +14 weather
2. Do not walk up hills, this is hard to avoid where I live but by the time we hit the top of the hill, I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest. this went away shortly but did not help with the hot flashes
3. Do not drink caffeine...it will not help with the heat
4. Do not dance for 2 hrs in a venue full of 10k ppl...sit occasionally
5. BUT I wouldn't have done any differently as it was a great way to say bye bye chemo round number 3
In the grand scheme of things and compared to others stories...I blew right through these. I have heard other people talk about not being able to handle the downward elevator...which sucks because chemo is on the 11th floor! Others are having dramatic mood swings, I just call that me! Some have talked about extreme fatigue and severe nausea...thankful I have not had either.....NOW....having said that, my first three rounds were the same drug. The next three rounds will be different. Only one injection of Docetaxil. They mix things up a bit but having me take a steroid the day before and after. Currently I am only taking them for three days after...and so far no weight gain from them but I do swell up a bit..wearing rings or should I say getting them off has become challenging at times.
I am still had the coughing fits during the injection of the epirubicin which is apparently the first in the history of this hospital. Oh well..there is my claim to fame...although this round I drank 1.5L of water during the 1/2 hour it took to inject it and it still wasn't enough and needed more water...crazy really. If you told me I had to drink that much water in a short amount of time I would have said you were nuts but as it turns out it was easy and I didn't even notice that it was gone until I coughed...and coughed...and coughed. Where is that Popsicle for injection 2 when you need it.
Mind you, there are a couple guidelines I do recommend as I was a bit of a bad girl and went out after the 3rd round of chemo instead of going home to rest. The nurses were not worried so why should I be...but if you decide to do this, I do advise:
1. Not wearing so many layers...hot flashes came in plenty of waves..this might have something to do with the tank top, shirt, sweater and down jacket I decided to wear in +14 weather
2. Do not walk up hills, this is hard to avoid where I live but by the time we hit the top of the hill, I thought my heart was going to come out of my chest. this went away shortly but did not help with the hot flashes
3. Do not drink caffeine...it will not help with the heat
4. Do not dance for 2 hrs in a venue full of 10k ppl...sit occasionally
5. BUT I wouldn't have done any differently as it was a great way to say bye bye chemo round number 3
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