Well radiation has begun and I am a whole 4 days in and already feel like a veteran at the process. The first day was a little intimidating as I didn't know what to expect. I registered at reception and changed into a Johnny shirt <ties to the back> and robe. Attempted to put my clothes in a locker which were all filled and then decided to stuff them in a bag I had brought instead. Sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever and then my name was called.
I followed Technician A into a doorway that had a control room on the left and then rounded around a hallway to reveal the radiation room. I took off my robe and undid the ties of my Johnny shirt and laid on the "bed". It is actually a hard plastic slab with another hard plastic piece on top of it. There is a metal curve pillow to put your head, comfort is obviously their main concern. I took my arm out of the Johnny shirt and rested it above on what looked like two stirrup holders. From there it actually felt like I was getting a pap test with the move up, move down scenario playing out. <sorry to the men who have never had this lovely experience>
Once I was lined up, out came the fancy measuring tools..yup a ruler. The lights were turned off and I realized there was a laser level above and beside me. The table moved up and down until the markings matched. Then they marked where my tattoos were. The second technician talked throughout the process to let me know what was going on. I felt like a flasher as every two seconds as the constantly whipped my shirt open and closed to ensure I hadn't moved. Then they left the room.
A machine that looks like the bottom part of a microscope started to rotate over my head and position itself above my chest with a paddle looking piece moving to my back. The one over my head/chest had a orb hat contained a series of metal bars which started shifting into a programmed pattern which for me consisted of two dashes and something that looked like half a mouse followed by two dashes. Two buzzing nosies went off <which I later learnt were the xrays> then both technicians came back in made sure I was still lined up and left the room again. Again more buzzing noises and the machine moved sideways. In came the technicians and told me I was doing great...ahhh I am just lying here.
On and off with the lights..yup still lined up...trust me I wasn't moving. Hell, I was barely breathing. They told me the radiation therapy would now begin and what felt like about a minute later I was being told to relax my arm and the table was being lowered. I was finished. It took about half an hour from start to finish but it felt like about 10 minutes. I got changed and went home and that was that. One down 24 more to go.
Day 2 was a little different. I had one of the same technicians and one new one <well..new to me>. I was told that every second day I would have this rubber pad placed on me as it brings the radiation closer to the surface. In order to keep the pad in place they used this advance technology...called masking tape to tape me down. I literally looked like I was in Gulliver's travels with long strips of masking tape from one side of me to the other. I joked that these pictures had better not show up on facebook....I am not sure they got the joke..I guess that is more of a day 10 joke.
It didn't feel any different and I was in and out in 20 minutes, but I realized that the wait time to get into this room could be long as they were a half hour behind schedule. The good part <if it can be called that> is that when you register it tells you how far behind each of the rooms are. Kind of like the wait times being posted a Disney..except the group of people is less and the lineup isn't as entertaining. A room filled with people in Johnny shirts..some of which need to be longer (much) and bigger is not something you want to see at anytime of the day.
I kept hearing people say they had one more treatment or were finished today ...sigh...but hey, I am at the point where I only have 21 more to go.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Getting Plastered
So I decided that since chemo was over maybe I should look into getting a prosthetic. As, up until now, I have been basically stuffing my bra with a "sock" and constantly having to adjust. My poor husband has been the boob monitor, telling me if I am high or low. I have seen the out of the box versions but thought since reconstruction waits can take up to two years here, I thought that maybe a custom prosthesis was the way to go.
So I booked an appointment and off I went. She started off on her spiel of the different generic options. Who knew there were so many. Some were tear dropped, some were round, some were foam which you can shape, some were silicone and the swimming one apparently floats...err I don't want that one unless I was drowning. Then I could only picture the rescue boat coming and my one fake boob bobbing for air..pass.
At his point I had molested several prosthetics and made up my mind that none of these would work for me. Some I felt were too heavy and no different than what I had now. Then the lights shone as she produced the custom one. It actually looked like a breast, it was foam-like but still had enough weight to it. This is the option I decided on. Then she told me the price and I almost threw up, but thankfully I have insurance which is kind enough to pay for it.
I made an appointment for the following week to have the cast done and off I went. I asked my husband to come along on this venture with me as you get to pick the colour of the breast and nipple and thought he may want to weigh in on it. Plus he is always interested in the process of things and thought he might enjoy it.
I arrived, got changed into my dirty clothes as this is a messy process and we began. She marked the centre of my chest and around the curve of my breast. I then put on a bra and she marked my breast with where the bra cuts. Then mirrored the markings on the other side. <side note. she makes the custom prosthetic as a reflection of your existing breast and it fits naturally in your bra not in a pocket like other ones>
I looked like someone was about to perform an autopsy on me.
Next she began placing the plaster strips on my actually breast. They were cold and slimy and the dripping down my body made me shiver. By the time she had this finished I was getting rather warm..seriously..now is the time I am going to have a hot flash? Meanwhile my ever so helpful husband was reminding me to stand up straight. The cast actually dried quickly and one look at me from K told me I needed a moment to sit down. I was sweating. She opened a window and got me a glass of water but I was willing to solider on. Too bad my body wasn't in agreement.
About 5 strips in I was feeling woozy and we all agreed that I could sit for the remainder of the process. She had to take the current pieces off and start again. I didn't last much longer, but at least she was able to get enough of the strips on before the tunnel vision to a pin point started to happen and I needed to get to the floor and lay on my back. Now you know I am having issues when I am not worried that my wig is going to get drops of plaster on it. After about two minutes on the floor all was good again, but I decided to be a good patient and lay there until the cast was done. At this point I am very glad my husband came with me. I have never passed out, but came close a couple of times and I hate the feeling.
After a couple minutes of me drinking more water and my colour coming back, she began to mix up this very gooey purple stuff. Which I soon found out was to make the nipple cast. This stuff going on your nipple was not a pleasant experience and it felt like someone was putting Elmer's glue on my nipple. But it looked like frosting! During the drying period I picked out the colours for the breast and nipple and decided on the "erectness" of the nipple. If you are interested you can choose to have freckles and veining as well. I attempted to wipe most of the plaster off my body, got dressed and we were off.
I am not sure what brought on the dizzy spell but for the rest of the day I was very off and thirsty. Well at least it was a memorable experience..one I am sure we nor K will ever forget.
So I booked an appointment and off I went. She started off on her spiel of the different generic options. Who knew there were so many. Some were tear dropped, some were round, some were foam which you can shape, some were silicone and the swimming one apparently floats...err I don't want that one unless I was drowning. Then I could only picture the rescue boat coming and my one fake boob bobbing for air..pass.
At his point I had molested several prosthetics and made up my mind that none of these would work for me. Some I felt were too heavy and no different than what I had now. Then the lights shone as she produced the custom one. It actually looked like a breast, it was foam-like but still had enough weight to it. This is the option I decided on. Then she told me the price and I almost threw up, but thankfully I have insurance which is kind enough to pay for it.
I made an appointment for the following week to have the cast done and off I went. I asked my husband to come along on this venture with me as you get to pick the colour of the breast and nipple and thought he may want to weigh in on it. Plus he is always interested in the process of things and thought he might enjoy it.
I arrived, got changed into my dirty clothes as this is a messy process and we began. She marked the centre of my chest and around the curve of my breast. I then put on a bra and she marked my breast with where the bra cuts. Then mirrored the markings on the other side. <side note. she makes the custom prosthetic as a reflection of your existing breast and it fits naturally in your bra not in a pocket like other ones>
I looked like someone was about to perform an autopsy on me.
Next she began placing the plaster strips on my actually breast. They were cold and slimy and the dripping down my body made me shiver. By the time she had this finished I was getting rather warm..seriously..now is the time I am going to have a hot flash? Meanwhile my ever so helpful husband was reminding me to stand up straight. The cast actually dried quickly and one look at me from K told me I needed a moment to sit down. I was sweating. She opened a window and got me a glass of water but I was willing to solider on. Too bad my body wasn't in agreement.
About 5 strips in I was feeling woozy and we all agreed that I could sit for the remainder of the process. She had to take the current pieces off and start again. I didn't last much longer, but at least she was able to get enough of the strips on before the tunnel vision to a pin point started to happen and I needed to get to the floor and lay on my back. Now you know I am having issues when I am not worried that my wig is going to get drops of plaster on it. After about two minutes on the floor all was good again, but I decided to be a good patient and lay there until the cast was done. At this point I am very glad my husband came with me. I have never passed out, but came close a couple of times and I hate the feeling.
After a couple minutes of me drinking more water and my colour coming back, she began to mix up this very gooey purple stuff. Which I soon found out was to make the nipple cast. This stuff going on your nipple was not a pleasant experience and it felt like someone was putting Elmer's glue on my nipple. But it looked like frosting! During the drying period I picked out the colours for the breast and nipple and decided on the "erectness" of the nipple. If you are interested you can choose to have freckles and veining as well. I attempted to wipe most of the plaster off my body, got dressed and we were off.
I am not sure what brought on the dizzy spell but for the rest of the day I was very off and thirsty. Well at least it was a memorable experience..one I am sure we nor K will ever forget.
Monday, February 13, 2012
The war rages on
I have been finished my last chemo treatment for almost two weeks now. I continued with my "cocktail" of continuous drugs, massage and laying low; which worked and again I didn't have nearly as much discomfort as I did the first time on this drug. What I did have more this this time was complete exhaustion. I was so tired, but each time I went to lay down my brain started to get up and running, to the point where I was about ready to bang it against the headboard....shut up I need sleep!
The stupidest things would pop into my head; like, how many Spanish words do I know...let's just say you know it is going to be a short conversation when it starts with quesadilla. So I must admit that ativan and I have occasionally gotten acquainted as it doesn't put me to sleep, but it does make the gears in my brain turn off.
I did not come through this round unscathed. My skin is peeling off like a snakes second skin. I have a red spot where my vein is rejecting the drug, my right hand is swollen-but no more and no less than the past times...and I lost my taste for almost two weeks. For a girl who enjoys cooking and food this was the hardest part. Watermelon is my friend- going in anyways.
I have also noticed some odd things that I didn't before. My nails are extremely dry and actually have bands on them like tree growth. One band for each chemo round. I have also noticed that people notice me crying but didn't know that I had no eyelashes or eyebrows...good to have long wig bangs and wear glasses. Although right now my body is in a state or not knowing if chemo is coming again or not as my face has suddenly started to break out. Seriously...3 pimples in one day...my mouth is still splitting from dryness and I am still wondering if I will loose a couple toenails. But I guess if that is the worst I come out of this with, then I guess I am doing OK.
My energy level is up and I can walk more that to the fridge without getting winded. I try to get out for daily walks but the sometimes frigid weather makes me shrink back inside the house in hopes that Spring will suddenly appear...but one long look from my dog makes me bundle up like the abominal snowman and off I go.
So while the battle between the chemo drugs and my body rages on, I at least feel now like I am on the winning side and can see the end in sight...right before they burn me!
The stupidest things would pop into my head; like, how many Spanish words do I know...let's just say you know it is going to be a short conversation when it starts with quesadilla. So I must admit that ativan and I have occasionally gotten acquainted as it doesn't put me to sleep, but it does make the gears in my brain turn off.
I did not come through this round unscathed. My skin is peeling off like a snakes second skin. I have a red spot where my vein is rejecting the drug, my right hand is swollen-but no more and no less than the past times...and I lost my taste for almost two weeks. For a girl who enjoys cooking and food this was the hardest part. Watermelon is my friend- going in anyways.
I have also noticed some odd things that I didn't before. My nails are extremely dry and actually have bands on them like tree growth. One band for each chemo round. I have also noticed that people notice me crying but didn't know that I had no eyelashes or eyebrows...good to have long wig bangs and wear glasses. Although right now my body is in a state or not knowing if chemo is coming again or not as my face has suddenly started to break out. Seriously...3 pimples in one day...my mouth is still splitting from dryness and I am still wondering if I will loose a couple toenails. But I guess if that is the worst I come out of this with, then I guess I am doing OK.
My energy level is up and I can walk more that to the fridge without getting winded. I try to get out for daily walks but the sometimes frigid weather makes me shrink back inside the house in hopes that Spring will suddenly appear...but one long look from my dog makes me bundle up like the abominal snowman and off I go.
So while the battle between the chemo drugs and my body rages on, I at least feel now like I am on the winning side and can see the end in sight...right before they burn me!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
A shot of happiness followed by a slap of reality
Today was my final dose of chemo! Hip Hip Hurray. The last round was easier than the time before, so this time I will not be a hero again and take the ibuprofen, Tylenol and claratin. Keep up the massages and hopefully 5 days from now the side effects of chemo will be over FOREVER.
As per usual they took several pokes to get my iv in. I am not sure if in hind site I would push for the portacath or not. While I feel bad for the nurses who have to inject me, as I swear they are in more pain doing it than I am receiving it. If you mind needles though...the portacath is the way to go.
To top off my happiness of finishing chemo, we have booked a trip away to Greece as a way of saying
FU%# you cancer. I am done. Now I feel like a child from the children's wish foundation. Only 5 weeks of radiation then I get my wish. Maybe I should also start their bead necklace..some people do say I still can act like a 6 year old.
As I was finishing up the dose, a lady walked in the room to start her treatment. She spoke with the nurse for awhile and then asked me "So what treatment is this for you". I was only too full of smiles to say "I am done and now onto radiation." She didn't respond right away, so I asked her the same question, to which she responded "I will never be finished". Slap. She had breast cancer two years ago and the cancer has returned to other organs. It just goes to show you can never be off you game and it will always be in the back of your mind every time you have a pain.
She did seem in fairly good spirits given her prognosis. I was told I could ring a bell when I finished my treatment but decided to pass out of respect for those who will never been finished dealing with cancer. To hear the bell ringing must be a constant reminder that they will never get to ring it.
On a final positive note, my tests all came back negative, so while I never rang the bell..I will hopefully never have to listen to others ring it either. So long chemo, I would like to say it's been fun ...but really....nah!
As per usual they took several pokes to get my iv in. I am not sure if in hind site I would push for the portacath or not. While I feel bad for the nurses who have to inject me, as I swear they are in more pain doing it than I am receiving it. If you mind needles though...the portacath is the way to go.
To top off my happiness of finishing chemo, we have booked a trip away to Greece as a way of saying
FU%# you cancer. I am done. Now I feel like a child from the children's wish foundation. Only 5 weeks of radiation then I get my wish. Maybe I should also start their bead necklace..some people do say I still can act like a 6 year old.
As I was finishing up the dose, a lady walked in the room to start her treatment. She spoke with the nurse for awhile and then asked me "So what treatment is this for you". I was only too full of smiles to say "I am done and now onto radiation." She didn't respond right away, so I asked her the same question, to which she responded "I will never be finished". Slap. She had breast cancer two years ago and the cancer has returned to other organs. It just goes to show you can never be off you game and it will always be in the back of your mind every time you have a pain.
She did seem in fairly good spirits given her prognosis. I was told I could ring a bell when I finished my treatment but decided to pass out of respect for those who will never been finished dealing with cancer. To hear the bell ringing must be a constant reminder that they will never get to ring it.
On a final positive note, my tests all came back negative, so while I never rang the bell..I will hopefully never have to listen to others ring it either. So long chemo, I would like to say it's been fun ...but really....nah!
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