Changing focus

I think too much of life is focused on the negative, instead of looking around for the positives. I am no exception to this rule. It is easier to see the bad than the good, but it how you refocus your priorities that matter <personal opinion alert!>.

In my earlier life, I was very selfish as most twenty-somethings are. As I matured, I began to think of people around me and what would make them happy. Sometimes concentrating too hard on this and loosing myself in the midst. My forties were a wake up call. I started them with a diagnosis of cancer and then had to shift my priorities. I had to take time for me first and everything else second and further down the line.

I took each day as it came at me and found that I had a lot more peace within myself when I didn't focus on the negative around me but tried to find the positive. Sometimes it is easy to falter and go back into the woe is me attitude, but I have decided to take some advice from myself and make one positive step forward. Each day I will remind myself that no matter what life throws at me I can be thankful for something which brings me joy, happiness and/or peace. It doesn't have to be a monumental thing, it is about looking for something rather than letting it find you.

Today my joy is: watching my sleeping pup with his head on a pillow and not a care in the world. Looking at him gives me a feeling of joy and endless love.

There is always a reason

A long time ago I read the book the Celestine Prophecy which is basically about one mans journey to enlightenment. What has stuck with me from the book is that each person we meet has a message for us whether we take the time to find it out is a different story. Have you ever been thinking of someone that you haven't seen in years and then all of a sudden see them several times? Basically that is the jest. Nothing is a coincidence but it is what you make of the moment that determines your path.

What am I getting at?

There are good days and bad days. Lately I have been kind of in the dumps and today I had a conversation with a lady who has had breast cancer. She is one of my clients who makes me laugh with her exuberant nature. She is part of a paddling group and keeps encouraging me to come out after reconstruction. Normally we just have a friendly chat when she comes in but today she stayed longer and we spoke more about her "story". People have told me how strong willed I am and how they admire my attitude during my treatment. Well until you have met M you don't know bravery at all.

She went through her treatment almost 20 years ago. Had to have 3 surgeries to get rid of the cancer. Had cobalt treatment as she refused chemo..which makes chemo seem like a walk in the park. Since her surgeries she has had several more for other reasons, severe allergic reactions and recently a broken arm where she was in a cast from her shoulder to her wrist. During her remarkable story she was more worried with others around her while she did not seem to take pity on herself. She is single and is going through all of this with the help of a couple of close friends and a very positive attitude.

I believe M came and told me her story today to lift my spirits and realize that I am thankful for all of the love and support I have. Everyone has good and bad days and now when I get down I am going to think of M and realize that every cloud has a silver lining and mine is named Marilyn.