I have been tired to the point of exhaustion before but no one can ever prepare you for what it feels like to be the wall on the other side of wrecking ball hurtling at you. Today was the first day I woke up and felt like I didn't need any pain medication, yeah I was on the other side. I felt like I had been couped up for days and even though the weather was not cooperating ..it is winter...I decided that the dog and I needed to go for a walk and get some fresh air.
I bundled myself up with a happy puppy beside me. I think if his tail went in circles any faster he would have taken off. And out the door we went...brrr...ok it issss... winter I remind myself and it was not really that cold, but when you've had a hot water bottle and heating pad on you for four days, -1 seems chilly. The roads were a bit icy and occasionally the dog and I did a little "accidental" Fred Astaire tapping but we got in the swing of things. My poor dog was walking at a much slower pace than he is used to with me <and that is a lot slower than my 6'+ husband walks> and looked as though he was going to take a nap and wait while I caught up. So I pushed ahead and picked up the pace to where is he was trotting along..by the end of our walk I felt like I could crawl in bed and have a nap but no I was going to fight through this. Side note: they do advise to push through a little tiredness.
I get inside and get a glass of water, plan the weeks menu and decide to go to the grocery store. I easily got all of of the items I was looking for within 10 minutes and then remembered ..shit! We need a calendar. I realize it is the 17th of January but YOU have to realize two procrastinators living together is not always the best plan..good intentions..but not the best at getting things done. So after wandering around for 20 minutes and looking at a variety of other items in hopes the calendars would just appear, I decided to ask someone. Maybe choosing a grocery store the size of a football field was my brightest plan either.
She was a middle aged women who was on the heavier side but who knew she had so much get up and go. I sooo should have choose the young guy labelling. She got on her walkie talky and gestured for me to follow her all the way to the back of the store...slow down...I have a cart and aisles to maneuver...then as it turns out where she was told to go was not the case, so all the way to the front of the store..nope not there...by this point I feel like I could crawl in the children's seat in the cart..if only someone would push me.
She looks at me with sympathetic eyes and says..I know where I saw them....only 500' away and 10 aisles to weave through. Sad as it may sound but the calendars could have been Disney ones and I would have bought them..instead my choices were Monet and Outhouses. I thought the clash between the two was funny so I bought one of each. Now to the checkout.
My feet were so slow moving by the time I got out through the checkout that I considered bumping the man out of the courtesy wheelchair and taking over...aiyeeea...but least I made it to the car took a deep breathe..lugged in the groceries and hit the bed....ahhhh so that's what the wrecking ball feels like.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The strange and unusal
As mentioned before my hand swelled a bit with this last round...OK a lot. It seems that this, of all of the things I had, concerned my oncologist the most as he did not like the fact it was on the top side of my hand on the side I had the mastectomy. They (Nurse H and Dr R) kind of freaked me out with thoughts of blood clots and possible a cat scan should it occur again. I am to watch for any swelling in the arm (possible lymphedema beginning) and if my hand swells this time round I am to call them as they may want to give me a water pill first to see if that takes it down. I thought the numb face and loss of taste would raise concerns but nope..the red hand was the kicker.
And believe it or not, I have little hairs beginning to grown on the top of my head..not on the sides only the top. They are not in multitudes but at least there is more than a week ago so maybe this hair growth thing will start earlier than anticipated. I can only hope on this one. It is still too early in their growth to see what colour/texture they are going to be, but so far they look brown which is much better than the possibility of grey...stay tuned on this one. I have also got a long brown curly wig to play to my alter ego..but right now I look like a drag queen with it on so styling is a must...appointment booked with D on Monday.
So I had chemo number 5 yesterday and besides the poke of three times to get the IV in all went smooth. If you don't count the two hours it took to get my drug from pharmacy to the chemo floor by a porter....so my one hour timeline increased to three. So next round, the nurse will just inject and leave me as I had two round of this doxetaxol with no issues so that is the good news. Now if I can only arrange not to be seated next to the women who used her cell phone..soo not allowed in this ward... and recorded a book while I was trying to read. It is hard when the rooms are in constant patient rotation to choose your next door neighbour.
I have been a good girl this time and have been taking my ibuprofen and have added claritin into the mix as well as this seems to help people with the muscle/joint pain...but I will let you know on that one as I don't seem to have this until I have the neulasta..which I just had injected so tomorrow will tell the tale of how well this cockatil worked this time.
I have also been concentrating on drinking lots of cold liquid in hopes of minimizing the swelling and loss of taste this time round, but again...only time will tell on this one. So while I wait I am eating yummy stuff in case I have 4 days of watermelon and smoothies. At least that is my rationale...screw the scale.
And believe it or not, I have little hairs beginning to grown on the top of my head..not on the sides only the top. They are not in multitudes but at least there is more than a week ago so maybe this hair growth thing will start earlier than anticipated. I can only hope on this one. It is still too early in their growth to see what colour/texture they are going to be, but so far they look brown which is much better than the possibility of grey...stay tuned on this one. I have also got a long brown curly wig to play to my alter ego..but right now I look like a drag queen with it on so styling is a must...appointment booked with D on Monday.
So I had chemo number 5 yesterday and besides the poke of three times to get the IV in all went smooth. If you don't count the two hours it took to get my drug from pharmacy to the chemo floor by a porter....so my one hour timeline increased to three. So next round, the nurse will just inject and leave me as I had two round of this doxetaxol with no issues so that is the good news. Now if I can only arrange not to be seated next to the women who used her cell phone..soo not allowed in this ward... and recorded a book while I was trying to read. It is hard when the rooms are in constant patient rotation to choose your next door neighbour.
I have been a good girl this time and have been taking my ibuprofen and have added claritin into the mix as well as this seems to help people with the muscle/joint pain...but I will let you know on that one as I don't seem to have this until I have the neulasta..which I just had injected so tomorrow will tell the tale of how well this cockatil worked this time.
I have also been concentrating on drinking lots of cold liquid in hopes of minimizing the swelling and loss of taste this time round, but again...only time will tell on this one. So while I wait I am eating yummy stuff in case I have 4 days of watermelon and smoothies. At least that is my rationale...screw the scale.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Beam me up
The next phase in this lovely process for me is radiation. I went to my consultation appointment with hopes of 3 weeks of radiation but in my mind, I knew that it was probably going to be 5 weeks. I was told to arrive at 10:15am but my appointment was at 10:45am and to expect to be in the appointment for an hour.
There were not may questions I had at this point as I have been thinking after surgery and chemo, radiation has to be the "easy part". After all, all I have to do is lay there, I can do that! So we showed up, grabbed a number, checked in and sat and waited...and waited...and waited. At about 10:45am we were called, again the first time meeting Nurse M and she makes me stand on a scale..seriously...these people are not going out for congeniality awards. She then escorts us to a room in some serious need of an update and asks about my current ailments. I am thinking how much time is this appointment?
I run through the latest issues I have has with this chemo, aching muscles <not joints>, loss of taste, diarrhea, peeling skin and swollen right hand, loss of most of my eyelashes and eyebrows....it's been a daily joy ride. Nurse M has a sense of humor <yeah> and we laugh the whole way through..really at this point it has become a daily laughter on what will happen tomorrow....
She says Dr R will be by in about 15 minutes...45 minutes later in walks Dr R. Who then asks if I have any immediate questions..nope...am I on any medication besides the chemo drugs..nope...ok exam time. Put the Johnny shirt on with ties to the back....everyone wants this thing on a different way.
He checks my neck, and I breathe in and out while he checks my lungs...then does and inspection of my scar as well as my left breast. He asks "are you having reconstruction?"...yes..."hmmm..that changes my approach" ...????
Apparently my wanting reconstruction means he will have to zap me with a lower dose over a longer period. I will have 25 rounds on my chest wall and 16 rounds on my lymphnodes above my chest wall. It will be sessions of 10mins over 5 weeks. This is a large commitment but it takes my risk of recurrence from 20% to 5% and I like those odds...95% of it never coming back sounds much better than 80%.
He seemed a little pensive and then said "You seem very relaxed". I am thinking...what is the appropriate response because I think "Hey man, I have found out I had cancer, had a breast taken off and am going through chemotherapy...I am thinking not much more can phase me"..but reply politely <how strange> with it is what it is....then he turns to B and asks him how he is doing..."fine, I see this stuff all the time in my profession".
On a side note, this doctor started several positive support groups and I think he was disappointed that we were not going to be his latest participants. Don't get me wrong, I think support groups are useful but there are times when I get tired of talking about myself <hard to believe> so the last thing I want to do is hear other stories...let me get through this and then maybe....
Dr R left after he said he would see me back in about a month for a run through and final consultation before the radiation began <4-5 weeks after my last chemo>.
Nurse M returned with a consent form for me to sign explaining that I was aware of the side effects..
-Scarring on the lung <permanent>
-Sun burn <temporary>
-Aching of ribs <temporary>
-Fatigue <temporary>
She handed me some reading material and we were off. I spent more time waiting for something to happen than I did in the actual appointment but I think this is how my radiation is going to go as well.
There were not may questions I had at this point as I have been thinking after surgery and chemo, radiation has to be the "easy part". After all, all I have to do is lay there, I can do that! So we showed up, grabbed a number, checked in and sat and waited...and waited...and waited. At about 10:45am we were called, again the first time meeting Nurse M and she makes me stand on a scale..seriously...these people are not going out for congeniality awards. She then escorts us to a room in some serious need of an update and asks about my current ailments. I am thinking how much time is this appointment?
I run through the latest issues I have has with this chemo, aching muscles <not joints>, loss of taste, diarrhea, peeling skin and swollen right hand, loss of most of my eyelashes and eyebrows....it's been a daily joy ride. Nurse M has a sense of humor <yeah> and we laugh the whole way through..really at this point it has become a daily laughter on what will happen tomorrow....
She says Dr R will be by in about 15 minutes...45 minutes later in walks Dr R. Who then asks if I have any immediate questions..nope...am I on any medication besides the chemo drugs..nope...ok exam time. Put the Johnny shirt on with ties to the back....everyone wants this thing on a different way.
He checks my neck, and I breathe in and out while he checks my lungs...then does and inspection of my scar as well as my left breast. He asks "are you having reconstruction?"...yes..."hmmm..that changes my approach" ...????
Apparently my wanting reconstruction means he will have to zap me with a lower dose over a longer period. I will have 25 rounds on my chest wall and 16 rounds on my lymphnodes above my chest wall. It will be sessions of 10mins over 5 weeks. This is a large commitment but it takes my risk of recurrence from 20% to 5% and I like those odds...95% of it never coming back sounds much better than 80%.
He seemed a little pensive and then said "You seem very relaxed". I am thinking...what is the appropriate response because I think "Hey man, I have found out I had cancer, had a breast taken off and am going through chemotherapy...I am thinking not much more can phase me"..but reply politely <how strange> with it is what it is....then he turns to B and asks him how he is doing..."fine, I see this stuff all the time in my profession".
On a side note, this doctor started several positive support groups and I think he was disappointed that we were not going to be his latest participants. Don't get me wrong, I think support groups are useful but there are times when I get tired of talking about myself <hard to believe> so the last thing I want to do is hear other stories...let me get through this and then maybe....
Dr R left after he said he would see me back in about a month for a run through and final consultation before the radiation began <4-5 weeks after my last chemo>.
Nurse M returned with a consent form for me to sign explaining that I was aware of the side effects..
-Scarring on the lung <permanent>
-Sun burn <temporary>
-Aching of ribs <temporary>
-Fatigue <temporary>
She handed me some reading material and we were off. I spent more time waiting for something to happen than I did in the actual appointment but I think this is how my radiation is going to go as well.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
The Thunder Rolls
My family has never shied away from any conversation, least of all the topic of poop. It never seems to fail that at every dinner someone brings up the topic of poop in some manner. Just once I wish this wasn't the case but I can't control it...which leads me to today's blog.
During this time I felt like my bowels were being controlled by someone else. I was beginning to think an army had taken over my internal workings and were directing the flow. There must have been a renegade General in there as he was pushing everything through..I could just imagine him yelling "Everybody out..move it move it"...'cause that is what was going on. Literally. I would eat and then that was it...to the bathroom I would run. As for the drug running through my system I am sure the General had the lower ranks scrubbing every part of me as half my face was numb. From below my right eye to the bottom of my chin had no feeling. I had sharp pains in my lower abdomen which I wish were from too many sit ups but sooooo not the case.
To add insult to injury I developed a red irritation on a 2" spot on my right hand and a couple of spots on my left which had small blisters on them. My right hand was swollen so I took a couple of ibuprofen to try to get the swelling down and watched as the skin dried out and began to peel...did I mention my face beginning to peel?
After a couple of days my taste buds started to return as I was getting pretty tired of grapes, smoothies, watermelon and tomatoes...but at least I could taste those. It felt like I had pieces of oatmeal in my mouth which I can only imagine were pieces of skin cells sloughing off...yeah me!
The bright side? If I must come up with something I guess I can look at the skin peeling as exfoliation and the fact that I could taste some things was better than not tasting anything. Plus I was able to get in for several massages and have already booked some for after the next chemo....but really....I would rather wallow in my own self pity, bitch about the "guess what happened today" and crawl under the covers and not come out until mid February when this chemo shit <see there I go talking about it> is over...come on February!
During this time I felt like my bowels were being controlled by someone else. I was beginning to think an army had taken over my internal workings and were directing the flow. There must have been a renegade General in there as he was pushing everything through..I could just imagine him yelling "Everybody out..move it move it"...'cause that is what was going on. Literally. I would eat and then that was it...to the bathroom I would run. As for the drug running through my system I am sure the General had the lower ranks scrubbing every part of me as half my face was numb. From below my right eye to the bottom of my chin had no feeling. I had sharp pains in my lower abdomen which I wish were from too many sit ups but sooooo not the case.
To add insult to injury I developed a red irritation on a 2" spot on my right hand and a couple of spots on my left which had small blisters on them. My right hand was swollen so I took a couple of ibuprofen to try to get the swelling down and watched as the skin dried out and began to peel...did I mention my face beginning to peel?
After a couple of days my taste buds started to return as I was getting pretty tired of grapes, smoothies, watermelon and tomatoes...but at least I could taste those. It felt like I had pieces of oatmeal in my mouth which I can only imagine were pieces of skin cells sloughing off...yeah me!
The bright side? If I must come up with something I guess I can look at the skin peeling as exfoliation and the fact that I could taste some things was better than not tasting anything. Plus I was able to get in for several massages and have already booked some for after the next chemo....but really....I would rather wallow in my own self pity, bitch about the "guess what happened today" and crawl under the covers and not come out until mid February when this chemo shit <see there I go talking about it> is over...come on February!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
D is for DAMN!
Docetaxel is my latest drug in the cocktail elixir of round 4. It is the only drip for the next three rounds. I had been prepared for the many side effects of this one but thought I would hold off judgement as I had gone through the first ones without many side effects. Chemo takes place on a Wednesday and then within 24-36 hours after the fact I was to get an injection of Neulasta. It is meant to help increase your immune system but can also cause muscle and joint pain.
So in I go for chemo with my "tree root" vein which they are unable to use. They heat up my hand with a warm blanket and then go searching for another vein source. Nurse K thinks she has one, but doesn't get in...then tries again on the underside of my arm...ok THAT hurts...but does not succeed. She calls over Nurse W <as they only poke you 2x before getting someone else...they are kind like that>. Nurse W searches all over, heats me up again and then goes in...nope...sigh..but the 4th time is a charm and we're off. Sometimes this drug can cause an allergic reaction when then inject it so they sit with you for a bit to ensure everything is all good. And for once I am doing well..no coughing fits, no numbness in fingers and toes all good. I sit quietly observing all around me while my husband is up observing a gentlemen next to us get injected through a port. Sick husband!
After an hour they do the flush and off I go. Well that was nothing! The next morning I wake up a little tired but I am pleased that I am not hitting the 1/2 hour wall like the first three rounds. I am a bit tired but I can push through this one. Then comes the injection, you have the option of having VON come into do this but my husband is a trained professional so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him inject me. I have never used any type of illegal drug in my life and now I am being injected with a $2000 legal drug...kind of seems off..maybe I should have tried some cheaper stuff first..but I am a girl with expensive taste. The needle was like a skin scratch and I felt some fluid move but within a minute you would never have known it was done. <Injected into my side stomach...lots of fat layers to hide the pain> Unlike my arm, which now looked like a pin cushion full of bruises and injection sites. Good job hunny!
I did start taking the ibuprofen and got the prescription done up for the Tylenol 3s but wasn't sure I needed them as this chemo seemed to be going well. Then I woke up the next morning and felt like I was getting the flu. Every muscle in my body felt like it was seizing and it felt like my cough was coming back. Although it was hard to tell as the acid reflux came back with a vengeance during the night and felt like it had burned my throat. Maybe I was getting the flu...I took a shower and massaged my muscles and felt good..I then got out of the shower and all things seized again..oh..ooh..did I mention this was Christmas Eve.
I went out and did some errands which turned out to be faster than anticipated, given the day, and came home. I started feeling really tired and decided to lay down..the only problem with this was that everywhere ached, so after an hour of fighting with positions I got up, took a bath and wrapped some presents. I tried to have a drink but it burnt my throat even more and I just gave up. Damn it ...it was Christmas and I was going to suck it up. We went out a friends house but after an hour of trying to move around to get comfortable and drinking water I thought..maybe we should go home...I walked through the door and went to bed with a hot water bottle. Not that this did any good as I flip flopped the whole night trying to find one place that was comfortable, only to discover there were none to be found. Although my husband did roll over to me and said..I'm a little cold...do you think you could have a hot flash right about now...seriously? Do you want the Christmas tree shoved up your ass? Actually I was a little chilled too but did not wish for the hot flashes.
The next day between the pill popping, a couple of baths massaging the pain, the acid reflux continuation and the hot flashes I was thinking MERRY F%^KING CHRISTMAS! I did manage to move around the house as small step walking seem to help..avoid stairs though..they hurt...got dressed..occasionally found myself staring at walls ...I made it to Christmas dinner. I was lucky as I only had to show up...not that I was much fun...two large hot flashes and tunnel vision later, my taste bud seem to have gone out of whack as well...I was only too happy to get home to bed....I think I got about an hours sleep as I had constant hot flashes that lasted almost 3 hours.
At one point I thought I should take my temperature but decided that would not get an accurate reading..then I thought..should I go to emergency as this is cannot be normal...but did I ...no...I laid there soaking through my pajamas, occasionally getting up to walk around but got cold...and went back to bed. The next two days I laid as low as I could. I was ready to have a full mental breakdown but kept thinking..this has to change at some point right? It can't last for three weeks..can it? I was due to go to a family function but decided this was not my best decision and family understands.
Also on day 5-6 my taste buds flared up to 3x their normal size and everything I ate had no flavour and tasted like sawdust...oh did I mention the insane diarrhea..yup...keeps getting better and better. I am one attractive lady!
On day 6 I decided I should get a massage. Someone rubbing me with heat and oil for an hour was a good thing. I was lucky to get in on such short notice and I took it as a good sign. The moment I got on the table and the large heating pad was put on was the first moment of relief I felt in 6 days. I have not gone for a massage since before my surgery as I wasn't sure how to approach the situation, but being in constant pain for 6 days makes you get over any inhibitions or embarrassment you have. I just flat out told L that I was going to take off my wig, I am in chemo, I only have one breast and please help me. L was great and she wasn't phased at all. She got the extra big heating pad, extra pillows to help prop me up so I laid flat and we laughed and giggled for an hour about our crazy dog stories. <She wins those ones>, Afterwards I got up and for the first time in many days I walked without pain. Why had I waited so long? How long will this last? When is the next available appointment?
And the good news is that I have found McDonald's banana-strawberry fruit smoothies are a relief to my mouth. I don't care if they have sugar in them...being able to "eat" something with flavour overrides this. I will try to make another massage appointment with in the next two days as L is booked, need to buy smoothie supplies...oh and did I mention that a hemroid has decided to flare up and the sides of my mouth have cracked...fun times....I think I should buy a pharamcy as I seem to be there often enough!
So in I go for chemo with my "tree root" vein which they are unable to use. They heat up my hand with a warm blanket and then go searching for another vein source. Nurse K thinks she has one, but doesn't get in...then tries again on the underside of my arm...ok THAT hurts...but does not succeed. She calls over Nurse W <as they only poke you 2x before getting someone else...they are kind like that>. Nurse W searches all over, heats me up again and then goes in...nope...sigh..but the 4th time is a charm and we're off. Sometimes this drug can cause an allergic reaction when then inject it so they sit with you for a bit to ensure everything is all good. And for once I am doing well..no coughing fits, no numbness in fingers and toes all good. I sit quietly observing all around me while my husband is up observing a gentlemen next to us get injected through a port. Sick husband!
After an hour they do the flush and off I go. Well that was nothing! The next morning I wake up a little tired but I am pleased that I am not hitting the 1/2 hour wall like the first three rounds. I am a bit tired but I can push through this one. Then comes the injection, you have the option of having VON come into do this but my husband is a trained professional so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him inject me. I have never used any type of illegal drug in my life and now I am being injected with a $2000 legal drug...kind of seems off..maybe I should have tried some cheaper stuff first..but I am a girl with expensive taste. The needle was like a skin scratch and I felt some fluid move but within a minute you would never have known it was done. <Injected into my side stomach...lots of fat layers to hide the pain> Unlike my arm, which now looked like a pin cushion full of bruises and injection sites. Good job hunny!
I did start taking the ibuprofen and got the prescription done up for the Tylenol 3s but wasn't sure I needed them as this chemo seemed to be going well. Then I woke up the next morning and felt like I was getting the flu. Every muscle in my body felt like it was seizing and it felt like my cough was coming back. Although it was hard to tell as the acid reflux came back with a vengeance during the night and felt like it had burned my throat. Maybe I was getting the flu...I took a shower and massaged my muscles and felt good..I then got out of the shower and all things seized again..oh..ooh..did I mention this was Christmas Eve.
I went out and did some errands which turned out to be faster than anticipated, given the day, and came home. I started feeling really tired and decided to lay down..the only problem with this was that everywhere ached, so after an hour of fighting with positions I got up, took a bath and wrapped some presents. I tried to have a drink but it burnt my throat even more and I just gave up. Damn it ...it was Christmas and I was going to suck it up. We went out a friends house but after an hour of trying to move around to get comfortable and drinking water I thought..maybe we should go home...I walked through the door and went to bed with a hot water bottle. Not that this did any good as I flip flopped the whole night trying to find one place that was comfortable, only to discover there were none to be found. Although my husband did roll over to me and said..I'm a little cold...do you think you could have a hot flash right about now...seriously? Do you want the Christmas tree shoved up your ass? Actually I was a little chilled too but did not wish for the hot flashes.
The next day between the pill popping, a couple of baths massaging the pain, the acid reflux continuation and the hot flashes I was thinking MERRY F%^KING CHRISTMAS! I did manage to move around the house as small step walking seem to help..avoid stairs though..they hurt...got dressed..occasionally found myself staring at walls ...I made it to Christmas dinner. I was lucky as I only had to show up...not that I was much fun...two large hot flashes and tunnel vision later, my taste bud seem to have gone out of whack as well...I was only too happy to get home to bed....I think I got about an hours sleep as I had constant hot flashes that lasted almost 3 hours.
At one point I thought I should take my temperature but decided that would not get an accurate reading..then I thought..should I go to emergency as this is cannot be normal...but did I ...no...I laid there soaking through my pajamas, occasionally getting up to walk around but got cold...and went back to bed. The next two days I laid as low as I could. I was ready to have a full mental breakdown but kept thinking..this has to change at some point right? It can't last for three weeks..can it? I was due to go to a family function but decided this was not my best decision and family understands.
Also on day 5-6 my taste buds flared up to 3x their normal size and everything I ate had no flavour and tasted like sawdust...oh did I mention the insane diarrhea..yup...keeps getting better and better. I am one attractive lady!
On day 6 I decided I should get a massage. Someone rubbing me with heat and oil for an hour was a good thing. I was lucky to get in on such short notice and I took it as a good sign. The moment I got on the table and the large heating pad was put on was the first moment of relief I felt in 6 days. I have not gone for a massage since before my surgery as I wasn't sure how to approach the situation, but being in constant pain for 6 days makes you get over any inhibitions or embarrassment you have. I just flat out told L that I was going to take off my wig, I am in chemo, I only have one breast and please help me. L was great and she wasn't phased at all. She got the extra big heating pad, extra pillows to help prop me up so I laid flat and we laughed and giggled for an hour about our crazy dog stories. <She wins those ones>, Afterwards I got up and for the first time in many days I walked without pain. Why had I waited so long? How long will this last? When is the next available appointment?
And the good news is that I have found McDonald's banana-strawberry fruit smoothies are a relief to my mouth. I don't care if they have sugar in them...being able to "eat" something with flavour overrides this. I will try to make another massage appointment with in the next two days as L is booked, need to buy smoothie supplies...oh and did I mention that a hemroid has decided to flare up and the sides of my mouth have cracked...fun times....I think I should buy a pharamcy as I seem to be there often enough!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Who's the boss of you
Ok so I was all cocky thinking these first rounds were no big deal. Then chemo stuck me in the ass and made me realize whose boss in all of this ...and it is not me. After my third round the vein they had been using for the three rounds decided to become irritated. It all of a sudden got hard and felt like a "tree root". I couldn't straighten my arm or carry any weight in it. I could feel the vein from the point of where the injected me all the way to my armpit and it HURT to touch it. I called the cancer centre and they said this is common and to apply heat on a regular basis, take Tylenol <checking temp first> for 48 to 72 hrs. Well this was a bit difficult to do as we were on the road visiting family, but I did get a hold of a hot water bottle and attempt this as often as possible.
And to top it off the Saturday before my last chemo I did not follow my own chemo rules by keeping up with my snacking every two hours and staying away from grocery stores on the busiest day. I got a bit run down and a cold found its way into my system. So here I am visiting family with a constant running nose, a cough that sounded like I had emphysema and should be taken to emergency. Fun times.
Normally a cold for me takes about 3-5 days to get over but 4 weeks later I still have the occasional cough and the running nose took almost 3 weeks to go away. As for the vein, I can still feel it but at least I can only feel it in my lower arm portion as opposed to from my wrist to my armpit. I still put the occasional hot water bottle on it..but it just goes to show that I am not the boss of me! Who knew? Apparently everyone but me..lol.
And to top it off the Saturday before my last chemo I did not follow my own chemo rules by keeping up with my snacking every two hours and staying away from grocery stores on the busiest day. I got a bit run down and a cold found its way into my system. So here I am visiting family with a constant running nose, a cough that sounded like I had emphysema and should be taken to emergency. Fun times.
Normally a cold for me takes about 3-5 days to get over but 4 weeks later I still have the occasional cough and the running nose took almost 3 weeks to go away. As for the vein, I can still feel it but at least I can only feel it in my lower arm portion as opposed to from my wrist to my armpit. I still put the occasional hot water bottle on it..but it just goes to show that I am not the boss of me! Who knew? Apparently everyone but me..lol.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Look Good Feel Good
There is a program at my local hospital <check yours as they seem to be everywhere> called the Look Good, Feel Good Program. This program teaches skin care and makeup for women <or I suppose some men out there> going through cancer. As one of the wonderful <sarcasm alert> things that the chemo drugs do to you is dry out your skin. At times I can put on what feels like 10 lbs of cream and 2 seconds later it looks like I haven't put any on.
I booked this appointment weeks in advance - it books quickly- as I felt that I should wait until I had a couple rounds of chemo under my belt so I looked more "cancerish". I arrived a couple minutes early but found out quickly that I was the last to arrive...anyone who knows me, knows this is normal for me. I was quickly ushered to a seat and the next thing I know a box of items is being unloaded in front of me. It seems like the never ending box of all new and well known products. All products in the box are based upon skin tone and all alcohol free..good for dry skin.
The class lasted for about 2 hours and we started by all taking off our makeup. Any woman knows that this has to be a very secure environment to bare it all in front of 9 other strangers. I wasn't sure what to expect from this class as I didn't know anyone who had gone to it, but I do recommend it. Did they teach me anything I didn't know...not really but the product I scored was unreal.
In the box:
- 2 skin toners
- 1 box of makeup remover wipes
- 1 face cream
- 1 sunscreen
- 1 under eye toner
- 2 hand/body creams
- 1 foundation press powder
- 2 liquid foundations
- 1 eyeliner
- 1 eye shadow compact <4 colours>
- 1 blush
- 1 mascara
- 1 brow pencil
- 1 lip liner
- 3 lipsticks
- 1 lip gloss
- 1 lip conditioner
I felt like Christmas came early and while in the end I may not use all of the products given I did look good and feel great when I left there. After a while the group loosened up and shared stories but this soon lead to the "great wig debate". Apparently, most women prefer scarves to wigs and our group was all about the wigs. I like taking the path less traveled..the scenery is always better.
It was fun to see a variety of wigs and these too are available to borrow for FREE...my favorite word..free. It was also great to see a group of women from a variety of backgrounds, ethnicity's, stages of cancer and ages all come together and laugh about something none of us have any control over. It made me realize how many of us there are out there and how thankful I am to have the hospital I go to in my area. A big shout out here to all of the volunteers who make this process a little easier.
I booked this appointment weeks in advance - it books quickly- as I felt that I should wait until I had a couple rounds of chemo under my belt so I looked more "cancerish". I arrived a couple minutes early but found out quickly that I was the last to arrive...anyone who knows me, knows this is normal for me. I was quickly ushered to a seat and the next thing I know a box of items is being unloaded in front of me. It seems like the never ending box of all new and well known products. All products in the box are based upon skin tone and all alcohol free..good for dry skin.
The class lasted for about 2 hours and we started by all taking off our makeup. Any woman knows that this has to be a very secure environment to bare it all in front of 9 other strangers. I wasn't sure what to expect from this class as I didn't know anyone who had gone to it, but I do recommend it. Did they teach me anything I didn't know...not really but the product I scored was unreal.
In the box:
- 2 skin toners
- 1 box of makeup remover wipes
- 1 face cream
- 1 sunscreen
- 1 under eye toner
- 2 hand/body creams
- 1 foundation press powder
- 2 liquid foundations
- 1 eyeliner
- 1 eye shadow compact <4 colours>
- 1 blush
- 1 mascara
- 1 brow pencil
- 1 lip liner
- 3 lipsticks
- 1 lip gloss
- 1 lip conditioner
I felt like Christmas came early and while in the end I may not use all of the products given I did look good and feel great when I left there. After a while the group loosened up and shared stories but this soon lead to the "great wig debate". Apparently, most women prefer scarves to wigs and our group was all about the wigs. I like taking the path less traveled..the scenery is always better.
It was fun to see a variety of wigs and these too are available to borrow for FREE...my favorite word..free. It was also great to see a group of women from a variety of backgrounds, ethnicity's, stages of cancer and ages all come together and laugh about something none of us have any control over. It made me realize how many of us there are out there and how thankful I am to have the hospital I go to in my area. A big shout out here to all of the volunteers who make this process a little easier.
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