Beam me up

The next phase in this lovely process for me is radiation. I went to my consultation appointment with hopes of 3 weeks of radiation but in my mind, I knew that it was probably going to be 5 weeks. I was told to arrive at 10:15am but my appointment was at 10:45am and to expect to be in the appointment for an hour.

There were not may questions I had at this point as I have been thinking after surgery and chemo, radiation has to be the "easy part". After all, all I have to do is lay there, I can do that! So we showed up, grabbed a number, checked in and sat and waited...and waited...and waited. At about 10:45am we were called, again the first time meeting Nurse M and she makes me stand on a scale..seriously...these people are not going out for congeniality awards. She then escorts us to a room in some serious need of an update and asks about my current ailments. I am thinking how much time is this appointment?

I run through the latest issues I have has with this chemo, aching muscles <not joints>, loss of taste, diarrhea, peeling skin and swollen right hand, loss of most of my eyelashes and eyebrows....it's been a daily joy ride. Nurse M has a sense of humor <yeah> and we laugh the whole way through..really at this point it has become a daily laughter on what will happen tomorrow....

She says Dr R will be by in about 15 minutes...45 minutes later in walks Dr R. Who then asks if I have any immediate questions..nope...am I on any medication besides the chemo drugs..nope...ok exam time. Put the Johnny shirt on with ties to the back....everyone wants this thing on a different way.

He checks my neck, and I breathe in and out while he checks my lungs...then does and inspection of my scar as well as my left breast. He asks "are you having reconstruction?"...yes..."hmmm..that changes my approach" ...????

Apparently my wanting reconstruction means he will have to zap me with a lower dose over a longer period. I will have 25 rounds on my chest wall and 16 rounds on my lymphnodes above my chest wall. It will be sessions of 10mins over 5 weeks. This is a large commitment but it takes my risk of recurrence from 20% to 5% and I like those odds...95% of it never coming back sounds much better than 80%.

He seemed a little pensive and then said "You seem very relaxed". I am thinking...what is the appropriate response because I think "Hey man, I have found out I had cancer, had a breast taken off and am going through chemotherapy...I am thinking not much more can phase me"..but reply politely <how strange> with it is what it is....then he turns to B and asks him how he is doing..."fine, I see this stuff all the time in my profession".

On a side note, this doctor started several positive support groups and I think he was disappointed that we were not going to be his latest participants. Don't get me wrong, I think support groups are useful but there are times when I get tired of talking about myself <hard to believe> so the last thing I want to do is hear other stories...let me get through this and then maybe....

Dr R left after he said he would see me back in about a month for a run through and final consultation before the radiation began <4-5 weeks after my last chemo>.

Nurse M returned with a consent form for me to sign explaining that I was aware of the side effects..
-Scarring on the lung <permanent>
-Sun burn <temporary>
-Aching of ribs <temporary>
-Fatigue <temporary>

She handed me some reading material and we were off. I spent more time waiting for something to happen than I did in the actual appointment but I think this is how my radiation is going to go as well.