Play: Theme music from Jaws

So what do you wear to a core biopsy? I thought a skirt was the best solution as it "went with" the lovely hospital gown and would allow for comfort. Side Note: I am sure I am not the first person who thought about what to wear to a biospy.

Ok I was prepared. I read my brochure, did some research, knew what was involved. I can do this!

I get to the same place as the mammogram but was called to door number 1 as opposed to door number two. This room was bright and had a reclining chair...how bad could it be?

The technician gave me the run down
-We will put you in the chair
-Face you sideways
-Line you up to the mammogram machine
-Clamp down
.....ok I can already feel the pain. Wasn't their suppose to be freezing involved. I should have taken stronger drugs

- Then we will take a picture
-Insert the needle
-You will feel a slight tingle with the needle and then the area will be frozen
-We will then do the biospy taking 5 for each lump.
-Followed by 3 pictures
-and a mammogram

Ok can I pass out now. What they didn't tell me until now was that they would only be freezing the SPOT where the biopsy needle goes in NOT the whole breast.

The the doctor came in and explained the exact same run down only he got he to sign a waiver. Hmm if I accidentally kicked him is this in the waiver?

He then demonstrated what the sound of the machine would be like so I wouldn't jump. My mouth began to get dry and I don't remember the room starting to spin....

It sounded like an air compressed nail gun.

So then we began. The technician did all of the maneuvering to get me in. She barely put the clamp on and I wanted to scream for my mommy. We finally got adjusted and she said.."You can breathe". Like that was going to happen. After about 30 mins, my legs started to shake as I am not going to lie that while I didn't feel the biopsy needle I did feel everything else..aka my boob stretched across a metal plate that was squashed with a piece of plastic. My breast bone shoved into the metal plate like it was trying to become one with it.

After 45mins I hadn't gotten to the "picture part" yet and asked "how much longer poppa smurf"..about 10 more minutes...just hang on. WHERE WAS I GOING? I continued to close my eyes and hang on.

I have never felt such relief when they took off the clamp...until I looked around. This was the first time I have had my eyes open since they put me in the machine and I was surprised to see all of the blood. There was blood on me, there was blood all over the machine, on the paddles, on the prongs attached to the paddles. Good thing I am lying down!

I then get an ice pack and a towel. I look at the two new "tattoos" I now have. They inject you with dye in case you have to go for surgery it will act as a guide. My first tattoo and it is a dot...how sad.

I finally get my sea legs back after a couple of minutes and the technician has already decided she is not taking any chances and is going to wheel me into get the mammogram. I think she was worried about having to pick me up off of the floor...and I don't blame her as it was a possibility.

She the squeezed me into the dreaded mammography machine took three quick photos and said...whatever, they can see where the dye is. Did I mention this woman was great. Then she had to clean off that machine of my blood ...but it was just a couple of spots..

Then wheeled me back to door number one. Stuck the ice pack back on ...gave me a moment while she checked on the radiologist and voila...I was out of there.

Now I had planned to go back to work after this....but as I walked down the hall and wasn't quite sure my legs were going to make it...I thought not such a wise idea.Then when I got in my car and realized shit its a standard...this is going to hurt...that maybe I should have brought someone with me.

I was told I would have the results in 7-10 days

Now I wait.