Day by day-Wednesday

Day 1
OMG, did someone hit me with a baseball bat. Drugs I need drugs. Ok drugs are in, now I attempt to get out of bed. It is amazing how you need the mobility of both arms or good abdominal muscles to get you easily out of bed. I have neither. I guess I could lie here and wait for B to get up...well that lasts all of about 2 seconds. I then look at the dog on the bed and think...I should have hooked his harness on him the night before so he could drag me out. Hindsight is always 20-20. I decided to sleep in the spare room for a couple of days so B could get some sleep and our bed is not big enough for him, my injured self, a dog, and a cat.

So how am I going to do this, roll to the left ...ok the 4" think memory foam is stopping me. Think. think. ok if I just slide my legs over to the side I can then turn them , giving me momentum and giddy up. I inch my legs over and then realize...damn...I am too far in the middle of the bed and my legs aren't long enough...think....lets try those abdominal muscles...oh shit they are connected further up to where the drains are connected which is connected to where my breast was. OUCH! I admit defeat. sigh.

B then wakes up comes over to the room...help! I get seated up..now what. I guess I didn't think this through. I wobble my way to the bathroom and then make it to a chair in the living room. I feel like I accomplished a marathon. Then I look at the drains...oh goody....they need to be emptied. <Have I mentioned how much I love my husband.> He goes and gets the measuring cups, sets up the paper chart, drains the two drains...while I sit there trying not to look or gag.

VON shows up to check on my bandages and to start my exercise routines. I wobble myself back to the bedroom <why did I get up?>. I pass my inspection and start on the exercises...I feel like I have never used my arm before...I literally get it a foot up the wall and I feel more than a "gentle pull"...come on!

I try to move it further and it is a no go. sigh...this defeat thing is already getting old.

I spend most of the day reading, sleeping and calling for help.

Biggest accomplishment: I pulled up my own pants <did I say how much I love my husband>
Most thankful for: my husband

D-Day or should I say -B Day

I surprising slept very well the night before the surgery but I was a bundle of nerves once I woke up. What to wear? I decided on a heavy sweatshirt and easy to pull on shorts as I could be sleeping in this for a while. We showed up on time <kind of>, registered and I go changed into the infamous Johnny Shirt..this time strings on the back. I met with the nurse who took my blood pressure and who asked a series of questions, all of which I responded no to. She looked at me suspiciously ..."So except for the cancer you are healthy". Seems like a contradiction of terms..but yup!

B and I were led upstairs to another waiting room and the floor still had the lights turned off .<Hello, anybody home?> Apparently the hospital is in a cut back rotation....great...all the staff is on board today for my surgery right? We then get the Ok- the doctors are ready- we are off again. At this point B and I have to separate and I continue down the hallway to a stretcher. ahhhh ....mommy.....

I am asked to lie there while they finish getting the operating room ready. I get comfy, get a hot blanket put over me and the next thing I know there is a line up of people beside me. I feel like the Dali Lama and I have just opened my door for visitors.

Visitor #1 is Dr. T.  Are you happy? <excuse me> You're not feeling depressed or anything? ahhh I see where you are going. No I am not depressed but let's just say this surgery will not make it on my highlight reel. This is the stage when I ask for drugs...I want a prescription because I am a wimp with pain! I don't deny it...give me drugs!

Visitor 2: The resident...who will give me the drugs.
Visitor 3 & 4: The anesthesiologists....real and student...student seems a little nervous...I hope I am not his first pin cushion
Visitor 5: The nurse liaison who then makes me repeat what visitors 2-4 have talked about and what I am here for

Once I pass the test, I am then brought into the chilly room and introduced to people 6-10...I hope I don't have to repeat names. I lay on the table and then gently pull my johnny shirt around my arm as to not expose my breasts. Seriously people? I know the moment I am out this thing is being whipped down to my knees. Why be modest now?

I lay back..watch the nervous anesthesiologist get an iv in my left hand ..a mask goes over my face and I do not remember the count down......

<time laspe 2 hrs and 20 mins>
Blink Blink....I gradually wake up and look around to see a large room full of about 10 spots. A nurse immediately comes over and asks me from 1-10 how much pain I am in...I say 7...before I know what is going on she is jabbing something into the IV drip and things get fuzzy and distant...my eyes close

This routine goes on for a little while <about 1hr> until I say I am ok to go to the next room where I will be sat up. I then notice I have two drains. I expected this but was still surprised to see them. This means my sentinel nodes are gone as well and I have had an axillary mastectomy. I am not surprised as I knew with the size of my tumors (3.4cm and 4cm) this was a high possibility but I was always hopeful that they wouldn't have to come out.

Side note: The day before I had radioactive material inserted into my nipple so they could literally use a metal detector<technical term geicometer-spelling not so sure of> to find the sentinel nodes,,,,sounds scarier than it actually was.

I stagger my way to the chair and I am wheeled off. Not really sure where I wheeled to as I was still quite drugged but I was delivered to a much smaller room with old fashion lazy boys and moved from the wheel chair over. Nurse 1 comes over to offer me liquid....yes please. Nurse 1 and 2 attempt to have a chat with me but I am happier to just fade in and out. After a while I decide ..ok...time to go home. Nurse 2 goes to get B and Nurse 1 attempts to get me dressed...this is the first time I see the bandage...wait..is the room suppose to spin like that. Cold cloth please.

2nd attempt at getting dressed goes much better and I get into the wheel chair. Now I have B, Nurse 1 & 2 asking me if I am sure I am ready to leave...get me the hell out of here! I am wheeled down to the front doors ever so cautiously by Porter G who is worried about my stomach turnings..and rightly so.

I do hang on and the breeze threw the front door feels like I am on the front of a sailboat,,,was going to say the Titanic..but that went down. Get in the car and we are off.

I lay in bed, needing help to do everything as I can barely move my arm or body, I am nauseous but never throw up. I am definitely not looking my best. VON comes in that night to check on me and then it is lights out. I only have to wake up B once during the night but sleep through most of it. Part 1 down. I wonder what tomorrow brings.