Call me Flasher

Well radiation has begun and I am a whole 4 days in and already feel like a veteran at the process. The first day was a little intimidating as I didn't know what to expect. I registered at reception and changed into a Johnny shirt <ties to the back> and robe. Attempted to put my clothes in a locker which were all filled and then decided to stuff them in a bag I had brought instead. Sat in the waiting room for what felt like forever and then my name was called.

I followed Technician A into a doorway that had a control room on the left and then rounded around a hallway to reveal the radiation room. I took off my robe and undid the ties of my Johnny shirt and laid on the "bed". It is actually a hard plastic slab with another hard plastic piece on top of it. There is a metal curve pillow to put your head, comfort is obviously their main concern. I took my arm out of the Johnny shirt and rested it above on what looked like two stirrup holders. From there it actually felt like I was getting a pap test with the move up, move down scenario playing out. <sorry to the men who have never had this lovely experience>

Once I was lined up, out came the fancy measuring tools..yup a ruler. The lights were turned off and I realized there was a laser level above and beside me. The table moved up and down until the markings matched. Then they marked where my tattoos were. The second technician talked throughout the process to let me know what was going on. I felt like a flasher as every two seconds as the constantly whipped my shirt open and closed to ensure I hadn't moved. Then they left the room.

A machine that looks like the bottom part of a microscope started to rotate over my head and position itself above my chest with a paddle looking piece moving to my back. The one over my head/chest had a orb hat contained a series of metal bars which started shifting into a programmed pattern which for me consisted of two dashes and something that looked like half a mouse followed by two dashes. Two buzzing nosies went off <which I later learnt were the xrays> then both technicians came back in made sure I was still lined up and left the room again. Again more buzzing noises and the machine moved sideways. In came the technicians and told me I was doing great...ahhh I am just lying here.

On and off with the lights..yup still lined up...trust me I wasn't moving. Hell, I was barely breathing. They told me the radiation therapy would now begin and what felt like about a minute later I was being told to relax my arm and the table was being lowered. I was finished. It took about half an hour from start to finish but it felt like about 10 minutes. I got changed and went home and that was that. One down 24 more to go.

Day 2 was a little different. I had one of the same technicians and one new one <well..new to me>. I was told that every second day I would have this rubber pad placed on me as it brings the radiation closer to the surface. In order to keep the pad in place they used this advance technology...called masking tape to tape me down. I literally looked like I was in Gulliver's travels with long strips of masking tape from one side of me to the other. I joked that these pictures had better not show up on facebook....I am not sure they got the joke..I guess that is more of a day 10 joke.

It didn't feel any different and I was in and out in 20 minutes, but I realized that the wait time to get into this room could be long as they were a half hour behind schedule. The good part <if it can be called that> is that when you register it tells you how far behind each of the rooms are. Kind of like the wait times being posted a Disney..except the group of people is less and the lineup isn't as entertaining. A room filled with people in Johnny shirts..some of which need to be longer (much) and bigger is not something you want to see at anytime of the day.

I kept hearing people say they had one more treatment or were finished today ...sigh...but hey, I am at the point where I only have 21 more to go.

The Big O

For those of you who have just googled orgasm or Oprah. This is the wrong blog. My big O is for the oncologist. Ok this still sounds dirty but soooo not! This is the first time I have had to enter the actual Cancer Centre of the hospital. I have skirted all around the hallways but never graced the entry way..until now. Again the usual setup, take a number ..wait for your number..but wait…there was an unfamiliar scent in the air. I turned to see two students begin to pick through a variety of cabinets and begin to make freshly brewed tea and coffee.  My first thought was this must be for people having chemo. Then as they filled their trolley with tea, coffee, juice and cookies I thought something doesn’t seem right. Then they began offering it to people waiting in the waiting area. The CANCER waiting area…wait are we in the WestJet lounge, am I being punked? Seriously, you have to have cancer to get a free cup of coffee…..ding..oops that’s my number.

I register with all of the basics, name of family doctor, where is your nearest drugstore, referring physician, name, did you get your cancer package in the mail? Yes and it wasn’t like the day the wish book arrives.  Then I go back to the “lounge” area to see what happens next. I could use a bowl of soup….  Not so lucky, my name is called and we are taken down a hallway where we are introduced to Nurse H. Right away I wonder about our relationship status as she asks me to step on the scale…ahh Nurse H we are in a hallway and have just met…at least the students offered me cookies! Hmmm can I blame my weight on the digestives I didn’t take? Sigh..step on the scale.

B and I are then escorted to a room which actually looks freshly painted <which we find out later was because two days prior the pipe in the ceiling leaked>. Nurse H asked a couple of general questions and wanted to know what I had found out..in other words “what did you find on the internet that I am now going to have to discredit”. Honest injun’ I have been good and haven’t looked up much. I learned that lesson early on!

She explained the process…we would be visited by three ghosts…nah wrong story….she explained that Dr R our oncologist was great. Everybody loved him <no pressure> and that he would always be late! Well Nurse H you are honest so we will get along well.

Out steps Nurse H …15 mins later in  steps Intern N..Intern N, I quickly discover, has lost his sense of humor prior to med school. Frankly B and I were like a comedy act full of shifty eye movements and subtle glances and offhanded remarks. But Intern N was very matter of fact and asked a variety of medical history..some of which even we had forgotten about…oh yeah the goiter <not really, but a fluid cyst near my thyroid 2 years prior>. He did a quick exam of the incision as well as the “good” breast said he would go find Dr R and be back.

Well Dr R must have been on his way back from China because it took him 45 mins to find him. In walks a Dr who is around 50 and looks like he is trying to impersonate someone from Grays Anatomy...and has the hair to match. He speaks softly and a bit slowly and B can see my annoyance…GET ON WITH IT MAN…all I want to know is how long…..as he thoroughly explains what I have, the pathology report and then begins a diagram. I don’t think many people have a sense of humor about their cancer…go figure…as he wasn’t sure what to make of mine and B’s comedy duo but at least he began to laugh…finally… we’ll have to remember those jokes. The diagram is broken into two parts followed by what looked like hugs.

F-E-C  D-D-D  XXXxx

-----------HER2--------???

FEC were the names of the first drugs I would receive for the first three rounds and D was the second round of drugs I would get for a total of 6 treatments. Once every three weeks.  The X’s represented the rounds of radiation I would be looking at which would be decided by yet another doctor. It would be somewhere between 3-5 weeks every day. One of my tests had not come back yet on whether or not I would receive the HER2 injection, if so I would receive this injection for the next year, but that did not affect my current treatment. Any questions?

I looked sheepishly at the paper and then at Dr R and asked....”and when will I lose my hair”. He pointed to the first round of chemo…”14 days after your first chemo”…then I asked...”and when will it grow back”…..he pointed to after the x’s. Sigh

Comedy duo signoff.