For those of you who have just googled orgasm or Oprah. This is the wrong blog. My big O is for the oncologist. Ok this still sounds dirty but soooo not! This is the first time I have had to enter the actual Cancer Centre of the hospital. I have skirted all around the hallways but never graced the entry way..until now. Again the usual setup, take a number ..wait for your number..but wait…there was an unfamiliar scent in the air. I turned to see two students begin to pick through a variety of cabinets and begin to make freshly brewed tea and coffee. My first thought was this must be for people having chemo. Then as they filled their trolley with tea, coffee, juice and cookies I thought something doesn’t seem right. Then they began offering it to people waiting in the waiting area. The CANCER waiting area…wait are we in the WestJet lounge, am I being punked? Seriously, you have to have cancer to get a free cup of coffee…..ding..oops that’s my number.
I register with all of the basics, name of family doctor, where is your nearest drugstore, referring physician, name, did you get your cancer package in the mail? Yes and it wasn’t like the day the wish book arrives. Then I go back to the “lounge” area to see what happens next. I could use a bowl of soup…. Not so lucky, my name is called and we are taken down a hallway where we are introduced to Nurse H. Right away I wonder about our relationship status as she asks me to step on the scale…ahh Nurse H we are in a hallway and have just met…at least the students offered me cookies! Hmmm can I blame my weight on the digestives I didn’t take? Sigh..step on the scale.
B and I are then escorted to a room which actually looks freshly painted <which we find out later was because two days prior the pipe in the ceiling leaked>. Nurse H asked a couple of general questions and wanted to know what I had found out..in other words “what did you find on the internet that I am now going to have to discredit”. Honest injun’ I have been good and haven’t looked up much. I learned that lesson early on!
She explained the process…we would be visited by three ghosts…nah wrong story….she explained that Dr R our oncologist was great. Everybody loved him <no pressure> and that he would always be late! Well Nurse H you are honest so we will get along well.
Out steps Nurse H …15 mins later in steps Intern N..Intern N, I quickly discover, has lost his sense of humor prior to med school. Frankly B and I were like a comedy act full of shifty eye movements and subtle glances and offhanded remarks. But Intern N was very matter of fact and asked a variety of medical history..some of which even we had forgotten about…oh yeah the goiter <not really, but a fluid cyst near my thyroid 2 years prior>. He did a quick exam of the incision as well as the “good” breast said he would go find Dr R and be back.
Well Dr R must have been on his way back from China because it took him 45 mins to find him. In walks a Dr who is around 50 and looks like he is trying to impersonate someone from Grays Anatomy...and has the hair to match. He speaks softly and a bit slowly and B can see my annoyance…GET ON WITH IT MAN…all I want to know is how long…..as he thoroughly explains what I have, the pathology report and then begins a diagram. I don’t think many people have a sense of humor about their cancer…go figure…as he wasn’t sure what to make of mine and B’s comedy duo but at least he began to laugh…finally… we’ll have to remember those jokes. The diagram is broken into two parts followed by what looked like hugs.
F-E-C D-D-D XXXxx
-----------HER2--------???
FEC were the names of the first drugs I would receive for the first three rounds and D was the second round of drugs I would get for a total of 6 treatments. Once every three weeks. The X’s represented the rounds of radiation I would be looking at which would be decided by yet another doctor. It would be somewhere between 3-5 weeks every day. One of my tests had not come back yet on whether or not I would receive the HER2 injection, if so I would receive this injection for the next year, but that did not affect my current treatment. Any questions?
I looked sheepishly at the paper and then at Dr R and asked....”and when will I lose my hair”. He pointed to the first round of chemo…”14 days after your first chemo”…then I asked...”and when will it grow back”…..he pointed to after the x’s. Sigh
Comedy duo signoff.
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