Put a sock in it

Now that I am drain free I have to figure out how to stop all of my shirts from pulling to one side. Who knew that having one boob would make so much difference in how your shirts hang. The day after the drains came out I was quick to try to figure out how to make my breast<s> look au natural.

I took my regular bra and started stuffing...geez I must be back in high school. I just dealt with being flat then. No rosebuds now. Now I look back thinking...why did I want these things? Oh yeah...boys like them. Should have dated butt men...I still have lots of that.

So I put on a bra. Looked at the provided sock and thought...wait are there directions? How does this thing go, sideways or up and down.  You would think this would be an easy decision but I tried it both ways and neither was working. Plus I was still very tender and could only clip the bra loosely. After much playing with the sock I decided to ditch it and put in the "cutlets" I had from my wedding. Checked with B and he thought it looked good...then I stood up. On what universe this looked natural was beyond me. I had one boob looking National Geographic like and one shooting for the sun..can you guess which was which. Mental side note: only put a sock in it while standing up.

Let's try this again, adjust adjust adjust...ok I think I've got it! One sock + one cutlet =looking semi normal...who knew? Then I sat down and stood up....hmmm...one blew east and one blew west. Damn it! Who knew stuffing your bra was so difficult...I must admit I did look at the kleenex box wondering...do you think I can google how to stuff my bra?

I adjusted once again deciding that checking myself out was going to have to be a common occurrence. Hey baby..how you doin'. The 'rents showed up and my mother walks up the stairs and pronounces loudly...wow they look natural....blush...thanks mom.

So at the young age of 40...I know know how to stuff my bra....and I have had enough of that....Off to La vie en rose I went for the "Figure correcting bra". I may still have to stuff the bra to give it the proper curve until I get a prosthetic, but at least they have more weight and I do not have to adjust so often. So for all those late bloomers out there, throw out the kleenex box and get some bigger cutlets.