The war rages on

I have been finished my last chemo treatment for almost two weeks now. I continued with my "cocktail" of continuous drugs, massage and laying low; which worked and again I didn't have nearly as much discomfort as I did the first time on this drug. What I did have more this this time was complete exhaustion. I was so tired, but each time I went to lay down my brain started to get up and running, to the point where I was about ready to bang it against the headboard....shut up I need sleep!

The stupidest things would pop into my head; like, how many Spanish words do I know...let's just say you know it is going to be a short conversation when it starts with quesadilla. So I must admit that ativan and I have occasionally gotten acquainted as it doesn't put me to sleep, but it does make the gears in my brain turn off.

I did not come through this round unscathed. My skin is peeling off like a snakes second skin. I have a red spot where my vein is rejecting the drug, my right hand is swollen-but no more and no less than the past times...and I lost my taste for almost two weeks. For a girl who enjoys cooking and food this was the hardest part. Watermelon is my friend- going in anyways.

I have also noticed some odd things that I didn't before. My nails are extremely dry and actually have bands on them like tree growth. One band for each chemo round. I have also noticed that people notice me crying but didn't know that I had no eyelashes or eyebrows...good to have long wig bangs and wear glasses. Although right now my body is in a state or not knowing if chemo is coming again or not as my face has suddenly started to break out. Seriously...3 pimples in one day...my mouth is still splitting from dryness and I am still wondering if I will loose a couple toenails. But I guess if that is the worst I come out of this with, then I guess I am doing OK.

My energy level is up and I can walk more that to the fridge without getting winded. I try to get out for daily walks but the sometimes frigid weather makes me shrink back inside the house in hopes that Spring will suddenly appear...but one long look from my dog makes me bundle up like the abominal snowman and off I go.

So while the battle between the chemo drugs and my body rages on, I at least feel now like I am on the winning side and can see the end in sight...right before they burn me!