Downward Dog

I have done yoga off and on over the years. Actually more off than on, but after 3 years off I decided I would try it once again. So I coaxed my friend R into going with me to a class which my friend (K)teaches. This way I have comfort all around.

I don't think R has ever been to a yoga class so I picked a class where you go in for the stretch and then hold. Your body eventually releases to the pain and relaxes. R and I have a habit of going places and breaking out in giggles to the point where we are worried about getting asked to leave..but it has never made it to this point(none that I remember anyways). I figured with K teaching the odds were in our favour.

We enter the room and everyone is getting out cushions and pads..ok I don't remember this from the description, but like good little lemmings we do the same. We roll out our mats in the opposite direction as we are at the front of the class and I need to see. The room is darkish with candles lite all around. Ahhh nap time!

We begin with a couple of moves and I learn quickly that the parking lot light and I are not in agreement. Its cascading brightness into my zen-like ways was making me want to get a large rock and bust it. ommmmm

I think I am doing pretty well and I am getting back into the rhythm of things when we have to go into a frog pose. Ok I am human...and apparently I am not meant to be a frog. After a couple goes I figure it out but feel like an idiot with my feet turned out and my butt up in the air..now this is sexy, but I am thankful no one is behind me as spandex only holds in so much...ommm. I place a bolster under me so I am able to hold the frame for 5 minutes and relax into the pose...damn f'ing light! ommmm

After five minutes we are told to slowly come back to sitting and as I begin I can hear the beginnings of the suction from my boob releasing. Normally when this happens it is a slight noise but in a silent room it came our as a flatulent excretion sound...yes it sounded like I let one rip. To my horror, I look to my left where R is trying to control her laughter, but once we make eye contact all control is lost. I am trying to point to my boob to explain but her shaking shoulders tell me that she is gone. We can no longer look at each other for fear of giggles erupting more.

We finish the class by relaxing on out back and I have now started thinking about the many ways to smash the light...ommmm...but then I realize I am lost on the purpose of the class...ahhh to hell with that..my concentration was lost at the boob fart. Damn FROG!

Nip and Tuck

So I am on the track of semi-stalking my plastic surgeon to be. Lucky him. I found out about an information session on what is known as BRA day or Breast Reconstruction Awareness where my plastic surgeon along with two others would be speaking. People from all over called and emailed me to tell me about the seminar to the point where I almost updated my facebook status to "I KNOW", but then those people would have to be on facebook.

B was working that night, so off I went in the blustering cold to find the seminar room in the hospital. I am sad at best with directions so I called B to ensure I was on the right path and after confirming with him, asking information and walking the 100 steps to the room I found my way(and a washroom along the way). I got my sense of direction from my dad:)

I filled out a ballot after seeing others ahead do the same (lemming alert!) and found a seat not too close to the front but not too far back either. It was the Goldilocks of seats. I looked around and noticed that no one else was there alone. I had other people who would have come with me but I thought "This is information only, I don't have to make my decision today". There were woman and partners, woman and friends and woman who I think were on a "Girls night out"...some people need to get out more. As well as woman old, young and some in obvious stages of cancer.

The session began with a woman who had gone through surgery 7 years ago...who now looked about 12...and she introduced the Doctors and explained some housekeeping rules, she mentioned the ballots and the food.  FOOD??? How did I miss that part. Oh well, my grumbling tummy would have to wait, and there would only be two doctors speaking today as one was unable to attend. <Please don't let it be mine.> If I am planning to stalk someone I should at least know what they look like. Small technicality.

The session was quite informative and I learnt that each surgeon has different ways they operate both in the operating room as well as with their administrative staff. My guy was there ...phew..and he doesn't call you until it is getting time to work out a plan and operate. There are also 4 types of surgeries...these are by no means the proper descriptions but it is my take on them.

1. Pump it up- They stick an inflatable implant in and every month inflate your skin by filling the implant with saline each month until you reach the desired size.
Timeline: 3 months to inflate, 1 simple surgery for breast implant and 1 for nipple

2. Fun Bags- Implant surgery..as seen all over Hollywood. Saline and a new silicone option available
Timeline: 1-2hours of surgery for breast(s) 2nd surgery for nipple

3. TRAM flap (ouch 1)- If you have had radiation this is option 1. They take a section of your back, fling it still attached and slap it on your front.(Gives you the basic idea). Do some microsurgery, hope it takes and bam..new boob. Apparently looks life like and an implant and fat injections are likely needed unless you are an A
Timeline: 3-4 hours for surgery 1 and 1 hour for surgery 2 (nipple)

4. DIEP Flap- This is a tummy tuck and boob job in one. Lots of microsurgery involved in joining blood vessels. It is the most risky as it doesn't always take and it usually takes 10-12 hours!!!!! and then they still have to do the nipple. This is option number 2 for apres radiation...and probably the one I will venture in to, but we will see.

I felt well informed after the session and realized my wait was probably still 1.5 years away due to limited operating room time lines as reconstruction after cancer for breast health is not considered a priority. I would like to oppose this view and believe we all need to start writing letters to the appropriate people to get this changed. I guess my stalking will have to change direction...I am so fickle.

At the end they drew for prizes...remember the ballot? And go figure, I won a compression bra..well that will come in handy 1.5 years from now.

And where does the nipple come from? The cut the skin into a Olympic podium looking pattern and then pull it together and voila...one nipple!