Dressing Up

So in the past three weeks I have attended three events. The first one was business dress, so I was all good. The second one was a wedding where I scoured stores for a dress that was under $200 and  worked with all of my requirements <sleeve, no v neck..and fits> but instead ended up borrowing a dress. The third event was dressy and I had limited warning to attend so ..no time to shop. I had to figure out something from my closet...while driving home!

I decided on a dress that I thought could work with a tank top and a sweater I would be fine. I called up the friend I have with the most clothing and luckily she thought she had a sweater which would would work. Check 1.

I rushed home, having 40 minutes to get ready. I located the dress and a tank top. I decided that instead of worrying about my boob and possible shifting I would glue it on. Apply glue and wait..while waiting I find a pair of pantyhose which I am hoping doesn't have a run in them.

Put on boob, hmm bra or no bra. No bra

Put on tank top and then dress. The dress has a band around the middle which has caused me some issues in zipping it up before...and did again today..grr. Look in the mirror..oh oh I need a bra as I have one boob up and one boob down. Locate strapless bra. Attempt to shove it down through dress and tank top and do it up. Half way through the attempt I realize the bra is too small.

Take out bra, take off dress and tank top. Locate slip with built in bra..check time..urgh I have already used up 30 minutes. Husband calls and is on the way home...hurray up I need help dressing. Silence. I think he is debating missing this experience.

Put on slip. Put on tank top. Partially zip up dress to problem area. Shove dress on. Squeeze in fake boob and roll the dress over the real one. Attempt the zip up. By this time I have discovered I missed my calling as a contortionist.

Finally get the zipper up. Friend arrives. Damn. 40 minutes and I have a dress on. Put on pantyhose and realize these must have been invented by men. Thrown on some make up and then OMG my hair. Tame Afro and find purse and try to match shoes. Husband arrives home. Out the door. <1.2hrs later.> I have straps going every which way and reallllly hope the sweater I am about to borrow covers it all up. Sigh...it does. We arrive to the event. GET ME A DRINK!

Half way through the night my feet are hurting, should have wore the other ones and my boob feels like it is trying to come off my body. When I finally get home and fling my shoes off across the room I realize that the slip has under wire, which has popped out and is trying to lift the glue and my boob apart. OUCH!

I like dressing up and going out but I am not sure that after 3 events, all having the same chicken if I wouldn't be better off at home eating nachos, drinking beer and lounging in sweats. To be determined....