So the morning of my birthday, I call Dr. B only to find out he is still stuck out of the country and wont be back for another week. I explain the fact that I believe the lump has grown and is now painful. It is amazing how these words send everyone into a quicker reaction.
The next thing I knew I had the breast screening booking number and had been referred 2times BUT had an appointment for that week.
I had never had a mammogram but heard the years of stories from my mother telling me it is like having your boobs squashed to the point of screaming..then hold your breath. Seriously!
So in I go. July 7, 2011.
I am told to be there 1/2 hr before my appointment to register and it is a good thing because the waiting room is full. I get to the counter and I have a new person who cannot seem to find the ultrasound part of my appointment. She asks for help and another woman comes over and says "After her mammogram if she needs an ultrasound they will take her in so book her for both". What! So you don't need to have both appointments booked. Gotta love our medical system, where no one talks to each other.
I am then told to go down to the end of the hall where I put on a gown and robe. I get back to the main waiting room and look around to see a variety of woman sitting there. Some young and some old and I wonder "how many others are in my situation". What I also notice is how many women have put their gowns on backwards and all I can think is "thank god for the robes". I did not want to see national geographic show up..or should I say down.
Eventually my name is called and off I go down the hallway to a darkened room. Inside what looks like a Venus fly trap with a lite stock is waiting for me. The "stock" is actually lite up and the machine itself does not look like this is going to be pleasant.
The technician I had was great and was aware of my lump, filled out some forms and then we began. She forewarned me there would be 6 pictures in total. Normally there are 4 but because of my lump there would be an additional 2. Lucky me!
She then lead me to the machine, I dropped my robe and gown and put my hand on what I can only call the 'holy fuck bar'. Then she plops my breast on the machine gradually closes the paddle over it and goes behind her screen while tears well up in my eyes. I grip the bar for all I am worth ..hold my breath and think OMG...5 more times. Wrong! My breasts are dense and she couldn't get a clear picture, but will put it on manual and see what happens. What is going to happen is that I am going to pass out!
Luckily the manual setting worked and the good news is that I you don't have a lump in your breast it is clearly uncomfortable but not excruciating. If you do have a lump...bring kleenex.
You then go back to the waiting area where a whole new set of faces are staring at you and you think of a cattle call. How many are herding through here in a day. The report comes in and..Yes it appears I have lumps...wait...lump-S?
So off I go to the ultrasound where this time it goes much better as a new technician waves her magic wand around digging in only occasionally. Plus I think my breasts are still numb from round#1. She takes several pictures and then goes to check with the radiologist to make sure the pictures are to their satisfaction.
Next thing I know the radiologist and the ultrasound technician are now in the 8'x8' room with me on a table and the machine. He takes his turn at waving the wand around....no fairy dust is coming out....but he is having issues getting pictures. The next thing I know..knock, knock, knock, Dr ?. So now I have a Dr, Radiologist, technician, me, the table and the equipment in the room. This is not a clown car people! The Dr again...waves the magic wand which by this point I am ready to beat them with....stops ..and tells me "As you have probably heard, you have two solid masses and will need to have a core biopsy to determine if they are cancerous" and walks out the door with the radiologist......ok.....
Next the technician hands me a pamphlet -these people need to stop using clip art- and explains the core biopsy procedure. I am already cringing.
I call B after the procedure and he says "How was it". My only thought was picture this...take your penis, stretch it in all directions as far as it will go and them SLAM A BRICK ON IT!
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